


Conflicted

by the_only_education_worth_having



Series: Requested Fics [5]
Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Affection, Age Difference, Angst, Angst and Feels, Arguing, BFFs, Brotherly Love, Brotp, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hospitals, Illnesses, Lack of Communication, Love Confessions, Lust, Oral Sex, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, mack attack and seabass, marvel men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-01-28 14:12:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_only_education_worth_having/pseuds/the_only_education_worth_having
Summary: Reader is the new girl in town. Will Chris be a friend or a foe?





	1. Do I Have A Crush?

**Author's Note:**

> I have absolutely no idea what prompt to give you as a request but I really loved “just a fling” so maybe something with chris e again? Maybe Christmas or holiday related? Or on the flip side they get to know each other more (maybe didn’t originally like each other) become bffs then the relationship (which probably won’t be holiday related lol)? Really, just preferably something with a happy ending lol. Fluff, angst, smut, all or whatever really doesn’t matter to me. I’m just throwing things out there so I’m not completely useless lol.

‘You can do this, it’s not a big deal,’ Y/N muttered to herself as she paced outside in the hallway. The corridor was long and narrow, with several rooms bordering it either side. However, she wasn’t concerned with those other rooms. She was bothered about the door at the end of the hall which contained an ensemble of famous faces all preparing for the first script read of the shoot. She couldn’t believe that at age 21 she’d managed to land herself a role in one of Marvel’s biggest films to date. Truthfully, she had been recommended by her best friend of several years Tom Holland; but producers had loved her in the small role she had obtained in Spider-Man Homecoming and had brought her into the Captain America franchise as a new team member and love interest alongside the title character.

Bracing herself slightly she placed her hand on the door handle and pushed it down allowing the door to open and reveal a small collection of people around several tables that were lined up in a square formation. She smiled weakly, the nerves hitting her once again, as her eyes scanned frantically over the placards that were dotted around the table. Spotting her name in bold block lettering she hurried forward and threw herself into her seat hoping no one’s eyes were on her. Her hands traced her script as she looked down at it adoringly - the sense of pride heavy in her heart. The door clicked open again and over the next ten minutes or so people filled in. It was odd, she was after all the new girl so she was unable to catch up with other people in the room, she was exiled from the cliques that clustered around each table. So, she sat quietly, looking around from person to person as they chatted over her, and sipped her water waiting for the read to begin. 

The chatter died down once the director stepped up at the end of the tables, he cleared his throat and then said, ‘Hello everyone, look, I’ll make this brief. You’ve all met me and I’m happy that I’ve got such a fabulous cast for this newest venture. I like to do script reads end to end first off. We can top and tail in tomorrow’s read, hopefully, you’re all already word perfect,’ a titter ran around the room as his face fell into a doubtful yet comical look, ‘we might as well start and then there’s food and drinks in the room next door so y’all can mingle and get to know one another. 14 weeks in close quarters will, I’m sure, make everyone the best of friends. Right, well anyway let’s start.’ 

And with that, he sat down at the end of the table and flipped open his script that lay in front of him. There was a flurry of activity as everyone followed his actions opening their scripts to the first page. The chatter was lower now before it disappeared completely replaced by the actors now rehearsing their lines. Y/N was nervous but as her scenes came up her confidence built, she was sure of herself and knew she could impress. 

The script read didn’t take long and soon they were done so everyone rose from the table and moved into the room next door through the adjoining door. The room was hot and sweaty, the dozens of table people present was too much for the small room. As she didn’t know anyone Y/N moved across the room, picked up a complimentary drink, and went to sit by herself on a table in the corner. She watched, smiling and making small talk with people here and there until she saw a man coming towards her. She recognised him as Anthony Mackie. 

Anthony moved to her table and stood, ‘This seat taken?’  
Y/N shook her head and sipped her drink watching him as he sat down. Anthony placed his own drink on the table and looked at her, smiling, ‘Y/N, right?’  
‘Right.’  
‘I think we’ve met before, at the Spider-Man premiere in London?’  
‘In passing.’  
‘Yeah, yeah, you were with Tom all night if I remember rightly?’  
‘Yeah,’ she said shyly. That had been the only premiere she had really been too, as it was her home country it had been special to her and she’d wanted to spend it with her best friend. Needless to say, the two of them had celebrated. Hard. Tom had been touring for ages meaning they hadn’t seen each other in weeks and so, they were hammered.  
‘Actually, if I remember rightly he was holding you up by the end of the night,’ Anthony chuckled much to Y/Ns embarrassment. Y/N placed her hand on her face, flinching in mortification before saying, ‘Actually I think it was more of an equilibrium. I was supporting him just as much we were that mullered.’  
‘Ah,’ Anthony said causing the pair to chuckle more. 

‘Excuse me miss is he bothering you,’ came a low voice from behind Y/N. She and Anthony turned to find their co-star and star of the show, Chris Evans, behind them a bemused and curious look on his face.   
‘Shut it, Evans,’ Anthony waved off.  
‘Hey, you’re the one bothering these pretty girls all the time.’   
‘Got to warn them off you and Seb.’  
‘Oh really, and I just thought it was because you’re desperate for someone to finally laugh at your jokes.’  
‘You just gon’ hover there all day?’ Anthony said causing Chris to roll his eyes though he moved to sit down, ‘you met Y/N yet?’  
‘No, I don’t think I have,’ Chris said as he sat down and extended his arm so he could shake her hand, ‘nice to meet you.’  
‘Pleasure,’ Y/N agreed as she smiled at him. Her heart fluttered in her chest for he was, after all, very handsome. Not to mention the fact he’d referred to her as pretty, she thought she might melt.   
‘So, you’re the new girl huh?’ Chris asked, his piercing blue eyes staring at her causing her to become slightly flustered.   
‘Erm yeah, that’s me. I mean I know most of the crew since I did Spider-Man but this cast is all different.’  
‘Yeah, the crew’s great and don’t look so worried the cast aren’t that bad huh Mackie?’  
‘Except Evans of course.’  
‘Funny,’ Chris deadpanned, ‘don’t listen to him. So, you’re British huh?’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘What’s it like living over here?’  
‘Pretty good. I mean I miss home a lot and my mum worries about me non-stop but I’m loving it if truth be told.’  
‘Ah, mom’s worry no matter what.’  
‘That’s true,’ Anthony agreed. They started chatting, unfortunately, Anthony had to go and so Chris and Y/N were left alone at the table. Their conversation ranged from topic to topic. He was riveted to hear about her pursuing her acting career so far from home and she loved the way he listened. His eyes lit up and a smile on his face signalling his genuine interest. They chatted about the company and who’s who on the team. Chris filled her in on who was who and how to make friends. He asked her about her life and work. Eventually, almost everyone had filtered out of the room though she hadn’t noticed as she had become so wrapped up in her conversation. 

‘We should probably head out,’ Chris said, gesturing to the emptying room that now held a handful of people.  
‘Yeah, I’ve still got to unpack and get settled into my suite and stuff.’  
‘You got one of the condo places too?’  
‘Yeah,’ she nodded as the ambled through the room to the nearest exit.   
‘Me too, I’m 312 if you ever need help,’ he said smiling at her earnestly.  
‘I’ll remember that,’ she said, unable not to grin in response.   
‘Well I’ve gotta go,’ Chris said as they walked down the large corridor that led to the main foyer.  
‘No problem, sorry for keeping you,’ Y/N said awkwardly as she allowed her eyes to drop to the floor.  
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Chris waved off, ‘I liked talking to you.’  
‘You too.’  
They stood in the lobby now looking at each other awkwardly. Neither of them knew what to do but Chris took control of the situation and leant down to embrace her in a quick hug. Y/N could feel his muscular body against hers, his strong biceps around. He smelled amazing she had to admit but within a second he was gone. ‘See ya, Y/N.’ he muttered as he disappeared across the lobby and out of the sliding doors of the foyer. Y/N sighed. After this morning being so stressful she found she had actually enjoyed her afternoon. Y/N truly thought that she might have made her first friend. Working on a big film like this, at her age, was so daunting and the fact he’d taken the time to talk to her meant a lot. He was nice, funny, charming and took a genuine interest in her.

She was conflicted, she couldn’t like him like that. He was Captain America for God sake! The star of the show and she was a 20-year-old who was new to the industry, a nobody. But the more she thought about him the more her interest piqued and she could feel herself becoming flustered. ‘Oh God,’ she muttered as she made her way outside to head back to her apartment, ‘please tell me I do not have a crush.’


	2. Football and Other Activities

The days were long. Unbelievably so, Y/N, the cast and crew spent 14 hours a day on set before heading back to their respective houses for a few hours before heading back to do it all again. However, Y/N didn’t mind. In fact, she was having the time of her life. She was fortunate that everyone had been so nice to her and she’d been accepted into the fold of her castmates. Chris, Anthony and Sebastian had been particularly welcoming. Seeing as she was Steve Rogers’ new partner and suspected love interest they had most of their scenes together. On their downtime between takes and resetting, she was welcomed to spend time with them, mostly in Chris’ trailer. 

They were three weeks into filming and Sebastian, Anthony, Y/N and Chris were grabbing a plate of food at the catering trailer before heading back to Chris’ trailer for lunch. Chris and Y/N were the first ones into the small room and moved quickly to nab the comfiest seats in the place. Y/N flopped onto the couch, plate steady in hand, as Chris sat down next to her grinning at her widely. Anthony and Seb emerged through the door soon after, their faces dropping as they realised they had missed out on the best seats.   
‘I’ve know the guy for years and soon as a pretty girl turns up he’s a traitor,’ Anthony sighed as he dropped into the chair opposite.   
‘You should’ve been quicker then.’  
‘She’s got age on her side,’ muttered Anthony as he tucked into the food that was balanced precariously on his lap. Sebastian chuckled as he followed the man, just as displeased at the current set up. He locked eyes with Chris for a second. Realisation dawned on Chris’ face as Seb leapt forward and grabbed the TV remote and Xbox controller off of the small TV cabinet. In one fell swoop, Sebastian had both controllers in hand and was dropping one of them into Anthony’s open hand.  
‘And I’m the traitor,’ muttered Chris who had flopped back against the seat in annoyance.  
‘Hey, you get the comfiest seats we get the Xbox, fairs fair.’  
‘It’s my trailer!’ Chris chuckled.   
‘Yeah, yeah,’ smirked Anthony, as his eyes left his food to go to the screen.   
‘Can you believe this?’ Chris sighed as he turned to look at Y/N who had been watching the situation with mirth.   
‘I know it’s terrible,’ she chuckled. 

The group fell into their recently acquired routine. They ate whilst the boys played FIFA, a feat Y/N had no interest in and so she scrolled through her phone and chatted to whoever was the left-out player. She was in the middle of a conversation with Chris when his attention was diverted from her due to his ringing phone. He gave her an apologetic smile as flicked his phone open and answered the call.   
‘Hey…yeah, yeah...Sunday, I was thinking an hour before…just the usual people…cool man. Sweet, see you then. Sorry about that,’ Chris murmured to Y/N as he hung up before turning to the boys and announcing, ‘Peter’s in for Sunday.’

‘Sweet,’ Anthony said.  
‘Mike?’ Sebastian asked, his eyes never leaving the TV screen.  
‘Nah, he’s got the kids this weekend.’  
‘That’ sucks,’ Anthony frowned.  
‘I know it- ‘  
‘What’s this Sunday?’ Y/N asked meekly, feeling distinctly left out of the plans that were being formulated right in front of her. Chris turned to her and said, ‘Oh it’s nothing really. Just some guys are coming over to my place on Sunday to watch the game. I didn’t think it’d be your thing… but you can come if you want.’  
‘No, you’re okay.’  
‘Seriously, Y/N can come right guys?’  
‘Of course,’ chorused the boys making Y/N smirk.  
‘Chris it’s okay you don’t have to go an invite me now.’  
‘I just didn’t think- ‘  
‘I’m not offended,’ she chuckled, ‘Honestly. And I’m not surprised you didn’t invite me. If I’m being totally honest, I’m not even sure what game you’re on about.’  
Chris laughed loudly, his arm clapping against his chest as he did. ‘The football game, Pats v Chargers?’  
‘Yeah, I’m British bud. And that’s not proper football.’  
‘Woahhh, excuse me.’  
‘Well, it’s not. You don’t even use your feet.’  
She had all the men’s attention now, the FIFA competition now abandoned as they all turned to her in amusement.  
‘And what is proper?’ Sebastian asked.  
‘Football. Soccer, you were literally just playing it.’  
‘Well that’s different,’ Chris scoffed, ‘there’s nothing like good old American football. And the Patriots are the best team.’  
‘That’s a matter of opinion,’ Anthony said his eyes narrowed.   
‘You have to come now,’ Chris said, turning to her with an expectant look.  
‘What?’  
‘I mean it you have to come on Sunday and watch the game. So, you can learn to appreciate the greatest game on earth.’  
‘Maybe I’ll just stay ignorant. I’ve never watched an actual football before who says I can watch this.’  
‘Well you don’t have a choice, Sunday 2:30 pm and if you’re not there I’m bringing everyone to your apartment.’  
‘Sure, sure,’ Y/N said rolling her eyes. 

Chris looked as if he were about to respond when there was a rapping at the door before it swung open to reveal Jack, the runner, with his trusty clipboard and headset. ‘Sorry to disturb you guys, Y/N there you are. There’s been a few changes to this afternoons schedule,’ he said his eyes flipping down to his clipboard as he fiddled with the pages that were attached to it before pulling out one for each person. He dished them out as the boys took them gratefully. Y/N was last and as he handed it to her he said, ‘director wants you to come back now and we can get set up for your fight scene. Sorry to cut your lunch hour short.’  
‘No problem, see you later boys,’ she said as she rose from the couch following Jack out of the trailer, the door shutting gently behind her. 

‘You guys are only in one scene this afternoon, fancy giving me a go on the game?’ Chris asked as his eyes scanned the new itinerary.   
‘Oh, now he’s all interested,’ Anthony chuckled, his attention going back to the game Seb had just restarted.  
‘What?’  
‘Now Y/N’s gone he wants to join in on the game right Seb.’  
‘What?’ Chris scoffed, unable to comprehend what Anthony was insinuating.   
‘He’s got a point bud.’  
‘What are you two morons talking about?’  
‘You and Y/N and your little chats. Don’t get me wrong, we think it’s cute right, Mackie?’  
‘That’s right,’ Anthony nodded, his eyes still on the TV. Neither of them were watching Chris whose face was now scrunched up in confusion.   
‘What are you saying?’ Chris asked. Anthony sighed and clicked his controller forcing the PAUSE sign to be projected on the screen. He and Sebastian swivelled around in their chairs and leant forward to look at Chris.   
‘Come on man, you must see it.’  
‘See what Seb?’  
‘You and Y/N, she’s super into you. You’re into her, at least you seem to be.’  
‘What?! I’m not into her.’  
‘Well she’s into you,’ Anthony said.  
‘She can’t be, I mean she’s a cool girl and everything but she’s 21! I couldn’t y’know,’ he said awkwardly.  
‘But you do like her?’ Sebastian asked with a raised eyebrow.   
‘Well yeah, she’s great and all. But we couldn’t… you really think she likes me?’  
‘There’s a reason me and Seb have the highest FIFA scores on this shoot,’ Anthony chuckled. 

Y/N was tired. The long days had caught up with her and she had spent her weekend recuperating in her apartment. Today had been a lazy day. She had risen late in the morning and after eating some breakfast she had pottered around her apartment before deciding to have a bath. The water was high in the tub and the bubbles even higher, touching the rim of bath and threatening to overspill as she slid inside. The warm water enveloped her coming up to her chest and immersing her body though her knees were left out in the cold contrasting air. The warmth melted into her bones, forcing the stiffness and aching out of her body and finally allowing her to relax. 

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. 

The sound was abrupt on the door and Y/N’s barely closed eyes snapped open in annoyance at the intrusion. The knocks rang out again and she heaved herself out of the tub, grabbing a towel as she walked out of the bathroom to her front door, muttering in annoyance. One hand clasped around the edge of her towel, keeping it closed around her as she yanked the front door open. It swung open to reveal a smiling Chris, who stood there clad in patriot’s gear, his face bursting into laughter as his eyes took in the scene.   
‘Hey,’ he chuckled as she raised her eyebrows.  
‘Hey, what do you want?’  
‘Woah that’s not very nice.’  
‘Sorry, I was just in the middle of something.’  
‘I can see that,’ Chris chuckled, ‘but you’ve got someplace to be if I remember rightly?’  
Y/N’s face changed as realisation dawned, ‘Oh my gosh! I’m sorry, I totally forgot!’ she said, before dashing into her apartment with Chris trailing behind her amused.  
‘Just let me get dressed and I’ll be with you in one minute,’ she shouted as she headed into her bedroom. Chris shouted his dismissals and sat down on her couch waiting for her to reappear. Chris took in her apartment. It was virtually identical to hers, their homes being in the same building gave them the same layout but hers seemed much cosier. There were several personal touches. Pictures on the walls, bookshelves full of trinkets and books and throws and pillows that didn’t come with the apartment (like his did). It was nice. Chris pulled himself off the couch and went to the mantelpiece to look at the pictures that were lined up on it. They ranged from her as a child to nights out and drunken selfies.   
‘Ready,’ came Y/Ns voice forcing Chris to turn around. She was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt but she’d put some makeup on and let down her long hair, ‘do I need anything else?’  
‘Nope,’ Chris said, ‘that’s perfect.’

The pair headed back up Chris’ apartment where there were a few people around including Sebastian and Anthony. Y/N sat down beside them and said hi before introducing herself to the people she didn’t know. The TV was on and there was a variety of snacks laid out for his guests. Chris sat down on the couch beside Y/N readying himself for the game that was going to start soon.   
‘So,’ Y/N started as she turned to Chris expectantly, ‘feel free to explain all the rules and stuff. I mean I definitely will not understand anything but like I said feel free.’  
‘Don’t worry about it, we’ve got hours.’  
‘This shit goes on for hours?!’  
‘You didn’t know?’ Seb chuckled, ‘rookie mistake sweetheart.’  
‘Ugh! I’ve been tricked.’  
‘It’s not that bad,’ Chris said, ‘Look the first rule is that we root for the Patriots.’   
‘Got it.’  
From there Chris ran over the logistics of the game. She understood it to some degree but as the game unfolded it became clearer. She did, however, have to lean in from time to time so he could explain what was going on. Chris obliged though didn’t fail to notice the glances and sniggers that emitted from Seb and Anthony every time he did.

A few hours later the game was over and Chris’ was saying goodbye to one of the last of his guests. He turned around to find Y/N in his living room gathering glasses and bowls at a steady pace and moving to the kitchen.   
‘You don’t have to do that y’know.’  
‘I know,’ she smiled as he entered the kitchen behind her, ‘I never said I was gonna wash them up for you.’

He chuckled, collecting the items she had placed on the countertop one by one and placing them in the dishwasher. Y/N moved back into the living room to tidy away the empty packets and crumbs that had gathered due to the messy men. She returned and dumped the waste in the bin before disappearing back into the living room. Once Chris had finished with dishwasher he followed her, confused, and found her back on his couch flicking through the TV channels at a pace. 

‘What are you doing?’ he asked perplexed as he came to sit by her on the sofa.   
‘Well, you showed me all about your sports and your football and what no and now I’m gonna teach you some stuff.’  
‘Oh, you are, are you?’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘Do tell,’ he chuckled.   
‘This, is an expertly crafted TV show and a pinnacle of British entertainment, just as loved by Brits as American football is by you lot,’ she announced as the screen lit up and the program started the title frame announcing it to be ‘Gogglebox’.  
‘Oh god, what is this?’  
‘It’s people watching TV and it’s a must for Brits.’  
‘So, your idea of TV is watching people watch TV?’  
‘Yes.’   
‘That’s crazy.’  
‘So is 50 men throwing a ball around a field but…’ she chuckled. 

All in all, they didn’t pay much attention to the program. They got chatting pretty quickly and were soon distracted. They only noticed when the end credits began to roll.  
‘Did we miss it all?’ Chris asked.  
‘Must have.’  
‘Can’t have been as good as football then.’  
‘You didn’t give it a chance!’ she said, swatting him on the arm.  
‘You got me talking as always.’  
‘I think you’ll find it’s always you who distracts me.’  
‘Uh huh.’  
‘It is!’ she protested, rolling her eyes. Chris sighed, his gaze falling on her as he turned to face her leaning on the couch. His demeanour became awkward and his hand came to the back of his neck as he deliberated on what to say next, ‘y’know the guys were teasing me about our talks.’  
‘What do you mean?’ she asked, moving to mirror his posture on her side of the couch.  
‘Well, they’ve got it in their heads that we like each other and that us talking is super cute or whatever,’ he chuckled awkwardly, ‘ridiculous, right?’  
‘Right,’ she agreed though her tone was not at all convincing.   
‘I mean we’re just friends, right?’   
‘Right.’

Chris sighed as the pair fell silent neither of them knowing what to say next. ‘They’re not right,’ his brain screamed at him but he couldn’t help but feel a tug towards her. He wished he could blame the beer but if truth be told he hadn’t even had that much to drink. His eyes fell on her lips, there were so close – plump and inviting. Before he knew what was happening his lips met hers. He didn’t mean to kiss her but he couldn’t help himself and the feel of her reciprocating spurred him on even further. He moved towards her and she melded to his body as he came to hover over her. The kisses were frantic and rushed now as Chris’ lips moved from hers to make a trail across her jaw. He could feel her dainty hands fumbling at the bottom of his jersey trying to lift it up and off. He broke the contact for a second so he could discard his shirt and was back on her in a flash, his hands now trailing under her shirt feeling the red-hot skin that lay beneath it. His palm reached her breast and cupped it over her bra, the lace soft against his large hands. She moaned under his touch as her hands reached for his belt buckle, fumbling to get it open. 

‘Bedroom?’ he panted as his lips broke contact with her neck for a moment.   
‘Yeah,’ she sighed breathily. Chris moved off her gently pulling her up as he led her quickly to his room. Their mouths reconnected quickly, the tension that had built up between them in the past few weeks now bursting out of them as their tongues battled for dominance. She pulled off her shirt and threw it aside as she pushed him towards the bed. The back of his knees hit the bed causing him to fall down with a thump. Y/N pulled off her jeans before kissing him once more, her hands trailing his rock-hard torso gently. She followed their path moving southward her hands finding his belt buckle once more and yanking it and his zipper down.   
‘Scootch up,’ she said though her voice was barely audible it was that throaty. Chris obliged lifting his hips so she could remove his boxers and pants in one fell swoop. He was hard now, his length red and glistening as it flapped against his belly begging for her to touch it. She did so, dropping to her knees and grasping it gently in her hand.  
‘Fuck,’ Chris moaned as she pumped lightly, allowing the precum to slicken her and give her some traction. Y/N bit her lip as she watched his face contort with pleasure, his eyes closed and lips parted a fraction. 

Then sweeping her long hair back behind her she leant forward and took the tip in her mouth. Chris groaned louder now as she began to take him in inch by inch. His hands came to her face before moving to her hair, allowing his fingers to glide through her silky mane.   
She moved in rhythm now, pumping him with her hand as her tongue swirled his tip. Chris couldn’t think straight. If he were honest he doubted he’d even be able to say his own name right about now let alone think about what this meant for the couple. Her rhythm got faster and Chris could feel the tightness in his belly grow. He was close and as Y/N took his balls gently in her hand he couldn’t help himself and ended up spilling into her mouth without warning. 

Y/N swallowed him down before getting up off her knees and getting up to sit on his lap. Chris opened his eyes and smiled a crooked smile at her as he tried to recover.  
‘That was… amazing,’ Chris said as he tried to get his breathing back under control.   
‘Glad I could help,’ she giggled as Chris leant forward to capture her lips once again. He could taste himself on her tongue and he was immediately spurred on once more His hands snaked behind her and unhooked her bra exposing her pert breasts to him and making his cock rev up once more. 

Chris took control from here and picked Y/N up in one easy scoop before he decanted her onto the bed and came to rest above her. His mouth left a wet trail of kisses as he moved south coming to a stop between her thighs. He kissed her teasingly before removing the only barrier between them. His mouth returned right away his tongue connecting with her clit and swirling around it gently. He lapped at her eagerly, his hands resting on her ass and pulling her as close as possible. Y/N whimpered in disappointment as he moved his mouth from her and instead introduced his fingers to her hole, pumping in steadily. He lay next to her and kissed her gently as his fingers worked with expertise.   
‘Fuck Chris,’ she said breathily.  
‘You close?’  
‘Yeah,’ she moaned, as his thumb flicked over her clit, ‘but want you inside me. Please.’  
‘You sure?’  
‘Yeah, fuck me, Chris.’

Chris didn’t need to be told twice. He moved to kneel in between her thighs pulling her thighs to rest on his before teasing her with his tip gently and easing in. Chris moved gently at first before raising himself up to pound into her.   
‘Oh God,’ Y/N panted as Chris placed thumb to her clit once more. Chris smirked, loving the sight before him of her coming undone beneath him. He was close again but was determined to make her climax before he did. Y/N moved to wrap her legs around him allowing him to go deeper and moaning as he hit that spot every time.  
‘Right there, there,’ she moaned as Chris continued his actions. Just like that she was coming allowing her walls to flouter around him as she trembled under his touch. The sight drove him crazy and Chris was moving faster than ever, slamming into her chasing his own release. His hands gripped her hips tightly, threating to leave bruises, as he pounded into her before the coil inside him snapped flooding his senses with pleasure for the second time. 

Chris’ hips twitched as he came down from his high and pulled out of her. He fell down beside her in a sweaty heap, his chest heaving.   
‘That was amazing.’  
‘I know,’ Y/N said, watching him discreetly. Chris turned to smile at her but his attention was distracted a phone ringing in the distance.  
‘Shit,’ he said jumping up from the bed and grabbing his boxers as he went to the living room I search of his phone. Y/N cleaned herself up and started to dress again as she listened to Chris’ voice echo through the empty apartment. His head popped back around the door frame and he mouth ‘sorry, mom’.

Y/N nodded and continued to dress before she went to join him in the living room. He was still on the phone, pacing around the living room when she got there.   
‘I’m gonna go,’ she mouthed, though she wasn’t quite sure why. Chris waved frantically shaking his head as much as the phone would allow trying to get her to stay. Y/N nodded and grabbed her shoes off the floor dismissing his attempts.   
‘It’s okay,’ she said making vague gestures and before Chris could say anything she had left the apartment. Outside Y/N rested her head against the front door.   
‘Fuck,’ she muttered.


	3. Can We Talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work is superrrr busy so updates are slower than planned sorryyy

Chris couldn’t sleep. The events of the day spun around and around in his head as he lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t believe what had unfolded. He lay in bed with a feeling of dread for the next day, a knot in his stomach. It’s not that he regretted what had happened, quite the contrary he had enjoyed himself a lot. But he didn’t know where to go from here.

_Was Y/N cute? Of course._

_Did he enjoy spending time with her? Definitely._

_Was he attracted to her? No doubt._

But could he see himself starting a relationship with her? He wasn’t so sure. It’s not that he didn’t want to it was just that there were a multitude of cons going against starting something up. Number one being age. She was only 21, and sure she was mature for her age but there was quite a leap from being 21 to being 35. He was sure that 15 years was too big of a gap, even if they had anything in common, they were surely in completely different places in their life. Not to mention the fact she was completely new in the business. She had the rest of her career to go and he’d hate for her to get any negativity this early on just because they were dating. Chris honestly didn’t know what to do. If only he’d held back, taken it slow and so he could weigh up the pros and cons before making a move. But then he remembered the way she’d been looking at him when he’d kissed her and could suddenly feel his pulse quicken. ‘At least if I’ve made a mess of things I enjoyed myself,’ Chris thought as he flipped onto his side and begged sleep to take him. 

When the alarm went off at 5:30 am Y/N rose in a zombified slumber and padded through her apartment to the bathroom where she turned the shower on and waited for the water to warm up. She was unbelievably tired and the evidence lay clear on her face. Her eyes had dark bags beneath them and were considerably less wide than usual. Her face was pale in the harsh bathroom light and the more she looked at herself the more annoyed she became. It wasn’t her fault she was so tired. She had gone to bed with the best of intentions hoping that she would be able to fall asleep quickly and not have to dwell on what happened. As expected that was not what happened. She had lay awake, unable to stop thinking of anything else. The way he’d looked at her, the way he’d kissed her made her melt. She had had the biggest crush on him since they had met and she couldn’t believe that he might actually like her back. They hadn’t talked about it, not properly. And when he had brought it up before they’d had sex they had both laughed it off. But surely there must be something there for them to do it? Right? Y/N wasn’t sure. She thought Chris must like her, he seemed to. But lying there at night with nothing but your own thoughts leaves room for self-doubt and there was a niggle at the back of her mind that Chris didn’t feel the same way, that he’d think she was easy now. That he wouldn’t care. That’s what had kept her up all night.  

She took all of twenty minutes to get ready and threw on jeans and a hoodie before sitting on her couch awaiting the tell-tale buzzer noise that signalled her car’s arrival. It echoed out and Y/N collected her bag before heading to the door and downstairs outside into the cold morning air. A black SUV was idling on the curb waiting for her to climb in. She did so and found the back seat empty. Usually, Chris was sitting in the seat next to her. Over the past few weeks it had become sort of a game, they’d both rush down in the morning and first to the car wins. The truth was Y/N had been letting him win. She tried not to show her disappointment on her face as she bid the driver, Cliff, good morning. He greeted her and pulled away from the pavement soon after.

‘Where’s Chris?’ she asked nonchalantly.

‘He took an earlier car into the studio, he had some work-outs to do this morning. He’s got a big fight scene or something coming up.’

‘Oh,’ she said her voice meek.

‘Yeah,’ Cliff chuckled, ‘If you ask me he’s probably got a shirtless scene today.’

‘You think?’ she giggled her thoughts distracted from her problems.

‘Yeah, he always goes in extra early on those days. Get his abs ready for the world to see,’ Cliff’s laugh was low but loud and Y/N couldn’t help but find herself laughing along with him. Of course, that made sense, he wasn’t avoiding her. That would be ridiculous, they were grownups after all. 

She arrived at the studios shortly after and was instantly whisked into hair and make-up where she found herself chatting to her stylists about her weekend, though she omitted the extra-curricular she’d gotten into after the game. Once out of hair and make-up she was straight into shooting scenes.

Her workday was hectic. She was in scene after scene without a break. It was gruelling shooting scenes alone so she was grateful when she was joined by her cast mates just after lunch.  The afternoon was uneventful. What had transpired between Y/N and Chris yesterday had evidently not become common knowledge a fact that she was very grateful of. Chris seemed normal. He was just as chatty, nice and flirty as he had been in previous days and Y/N’s heart soared at the fact. She wasn’t over reacting, he liked her.

Her last scene of the day ended at six o’clock and Y/N headed to her trailer to collect the rest of her things. She had just put the last of the belongings into her bag when there was a tap at the door.

‘Come in,’ she shouted and though her back was to the door she heard its distinct open and shutting noise.

‘Hey,’ Chris mumbled behind her and she turned to greet him.

‘Hey,’ she replied before an awkward silence fell upon them and Y/N shuffled to move the rest of her things into her bag.

‘I erm, enjoyed myself yesterday,’ she said looking up at him with a cheeky grin which made him chuckle.

‘Me too.’

 ‘You did?’ she asked though her mind was somewhat disbelievingly.

‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘But I need to talk to you a minute.’

‘Okay,’ she smiled as Chris moved towards her. He was standing less than a foot away now, so close she could smell his strong aftershave roll off him as he moved. Chris looked down at her Y/E/C eyes looking up at him, large and doe like. He felt one side of his mouth tugging up into a smile as he reached up to move a strand of hair from her face. He could do this, he’d thought about what to say all night. Y/N’s pulse quickened, having him so close brought memories of last night to the front of her mind and she was overcome, leaning up so she could kiss him again.

‘Y/N, we can’t,’ Chris said though his voice was barely more than a whisper. Y/N’s eyes snapped open taking in his face which was now pained with embarrassment, whether it was his own or for her she didn’t know. Mortified she pulled away, trying to push the embarrassment down into her soul.

‘Look it’s not you,’ Chris said grabbing her wrist so she couldn’t hide her face from him, ‘you’re great. Honestly and if the timings were a bit different maybe we could but-’

‘No, it’s okay… I get it,’ Y/N muttered, yanking her wrist out of his slackened grip and moving to stuff the rest of her things into her bag so her back was to him.

‘Y/N please don’t take it the wrong way.’

‘What that I just threw myself at you like some kind of idiot and you aren’t interested?’ she scoffed.

‘It’s not that. Look you’re funny, attractive, nice – the whole package. But you’re 21. 15 years is a big difference in age,’ Chris said as if this explained everything. Anger bubbled in Y/N’s stomach as she turned to face him.

‘Yeah if I were 12. But I’m not I’m 21, a grown up. More than capable of deciding who I want to sleep with.’

‘I know but you’re young. You’re new to the business. Look I just don’t want any relationship you have with me to impact you for the rest of your career. You’re talented but you’re just starting out and I don’t want anyone to have any reason to doubt your talents because you slept with one of your co-stars.’

Y/N didn’t say anything. She wanted to scream, tell him that whatever his fans or the public thought didn’t dictate her life. That she should be the one to decide whether or not she dated someone. But she didn’t. She was hurting, her heart ached. The longing, the embarrassment, the anger at him all bubbling in her chest but she didn’t have the fight in her. She just wanted him to go. Leave her to stew in her feelings.

‘You’re right. Let’s just draw a line under it.’ Chris’ face was unsure but he nodded and smiled at her broadly.

‘Thanks Y/N, you’re a star,’ he said pulling her into a hug, his bulging arms wrapping around her tightly. She could feel a lump in her throat, tears welling in her eyes and so she pulled out of it, keeping her face out of his eye line and went to collect her bag.

‘Yeah,’ she muttered, ‘look I’ve gotta go. My car is- ‘

‘Sure, sure,’ Chris said, ‘I’ll err see you tomorrow.'

And with that he disappeared out of the door, letting it shut gently behind him. Y/N flopped onto the couch with a sigh. ’12 more weeks of shooting, that’s not going to be awkward at all,’ she muttered.


	4. Doctors and Nurses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to add my love Colin in at some point. He's who I was going to do this about originally.

October proceeded with an icy cold nature. Thought it wasn’t merely the weather that was on the cold side. The temperature on the movie set was also considerably cool, though admittedly it wasn’t obvious. Around the other members of the cast and crew, Y/N was unaffected, warm and bubbly. Yet round Chris she found she couldn’t stop herself from giving him the cold shoulder. She supposed it was mostly due to the fact she still felt utterly mortified at the idea of being rejected the way she had been. Fortunately, her castmates hadn’t noticed. Around them, they acted the same as they had done pre-rejection though she was considerably less present at their hangouts and set get-togethers and any she and Chris didn’t hang out alone anymore. The conversation was minimal and Y/N cringed whenever they talked, the sound of his voice reminding her only of that day. 

Y/N couldn’t wait to crawl into bed. Fight scenes were endless and so draining to the system she longed for the warmth of her duvet where she would relax with a Netflix marathon and some chocolate. Her last scene of the day was between her, Chris and Anthony. She wasn’t particularly looking forward to it but once it was over she was free to go home and so she kept her mind focused on that. Between resetting, she sat with them at the side of the set, on their labelled chairs awaiting the crew to be ready to carry on. Anthony and Chris were chatting about last night’s basketball game whilst Y/N scrolled through her phone though she was mildly listening to their conversation.  
“Oh, Evans did I tell you Shel’s working over Halloween so the kids are at her mom’s. I’m not gonna fly back so I think I’ll be able to come to your party now.’   
‘That’s great man, it looks like it’s going to be a good night,’ Chris said as he reclined in his chair.   
‘Hey Y/N, you’re coming right?’ Anthony asked turning to look at her as she looked up from her phone somewhat startled. Her eyes locked with Chris who looked panicked.  
‘Coming where?’ she asked though she knew what he meant as she had been eavesdropping.  
‘Evans’ Halloween party. Filming always falls around this time of year and he always throws a big costume party and that. It’s a good night,’ Anthony explained.  
‘Oh, I didn’t know,’ she said nonchalantly her eyes going back to her phone. She knew that her giving him the cold shoulder was probably why he had neglected to tell her about the party but she couldn’t help but feel hurt she hadn’t been asked so seeing the guilt on his face gave her a brief sensation of satisfaction.  
‘You didn’t ask her?’ Anthony asked incredulously shaking his head at Chris but nevertheless laughing, obviously not understanding the context behind the missed invitation. 

Chris laughed along with his friend but there was embarrassment evident behind his well-acted features.   
‘I thought I had, sorry Y/N. You wanna come?’  
‘So touching.’  
‘Oh, c’mon I thought I’d invited you.’  
‘Yeah, Evans is sorry. C’mon Y/N everyone’s gon’ be there can’t have you letting down the side, now can we?’ Anthony said looking at her pleadingly. Her resolved waivered and his pouty face brought a laugh out of her, forcing her to agree with him and accept the invitation. 

And that was how she found herself stood at the door of apartment 317 giving herself a pep talk. It was weird to think the last time she’d been here she’d been overjoyed. Worried about what would happen between her and Chris but nonetheless happy. Now she was anxious. She could hear the low thump of music from inside and here the endless chatter from the party’s guests behind the door.   
‘Just knock you big wuss,’ she muttered to herself. Before she could think about it she knocked three times on the door and then adjusted herself so she was standing tall. The door swung open to reveal Chris.   
‘Hey,’ he said taking her in, ‘you’re a nurse huh?’  
His eyes roamed down her body which was clad in a short, tight, white dress. Her legs were bare though her heels made her quite a bit taller. Her hair framed her face in light waves and though her makeup wasn’t heavy she’d opted to gore herself up a bit adding blood around her neck, chest, and arms.   
‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘it’s the only costume I could find on such short notice. What are you?’  
‘A doctor? Can’t you tell?’ he said gesturing to the bloody scrubs he was sporting.  
‘Good effort,’ she said sarcastically before adding, ‘can I come in or what?’  
Chris seemed taken aback by the edge in her voice but she was finding the best way to keep herself from worrying was to be defensive and so didn’t care if she seemed rude. Chris grimaced but then nodded and allowed her to walk past him and into the apartment. 

It was near fit to bursting. There were many people at the party, mostly cast and crew of the movie but other people she didn’t recognise also. She spotted Anthony and Seb commandeering a couple of seats by the window and went over to join them.  
‘Woah Y/N, looking good!’ Anthony crooned as she approached them causing Y/N to roll her eyes.   
‘Not so bad yourselves, what are you exactly?’ she asked observing their suits in confusion.   
‘Pulp fiction obviously,’ scoffed Seb gesturing to Anthony’s wig.   
‘Ahh,’ she giggled, ‘so this is a couple’s costume?’   
‘What no!’ said Seb.  
‘Sure, sure,’ she giggled at their gobsmacked faces.  
‘This isn’t a couple’s costume. Anyway you’re one to talk.’  
‘What do you mean?’ she asked perplexed.  
‘You and Evans. Playing doctors and nurses huh?’ Seb said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Y/N froze. She looked at her outfit and her eyes flitted across the room to look at Chris who was chatting to one of the grips on the other side of the room.   
‘Pffft, no.’  
‘You sure, I’m certain he’d be up for it,’ Anthony added as the two men laughed between themselves.  
‘He should be so lucky,’ she scoffed though she could feel colour rising in her cheeks. Seb leaned towards her and spoke in barely more than a whisper.  
‘So why are you blushing?’  
‘I am not blushing!’ Y/N denied but the men laughed even harder, ‘I am not, I just. Stop laughing, you two are ridiculous. I need a drink.’

And with that, she turned away heading for the drinks table in the kitchen. Taunts followed her and she sighed feeling the need for something strong. As she poured herself a drink she felt a presence next to her and found a dark-haired man stood at her side. He smiled at her and she felt herself blushing as he not so subtly checked her out. She smiled back at him and picked up her cup bringing it to her lips and took a sip. 

The man grabbed a beer from the cooler under the table and said, ‘Hey.’  
His voice was low and gravelly and Y/N felt her blush returning.   
‘Hi,’ she said.   
‘Nice costume,’ he said gesturing to her nurse’s uniform.  
‘Thanks, I asked for the most generic in the shop and voila.’  
‘Me too,’ he said as he gestured at his cop uniform. Y/N looked at him. She couldn’t deny he was incredibly handsome and she was sure he knew what she thought from the way her eyes roamed his face. Not to mention her blushing was a dead giveaway.   
‘So, you having fun err?’ he asked looking at her expectantly. She wasn’t in the mood to make small talk but the prospect of going back to her friends and being teased or worse having awkward talks with Chris wasn’t appealing.  
‘Y/N and actually I just got here. Looks good though.’  
‘It’s pretty good and I’m Colin by the way,’ he said leaning back against the drinks table as she stood next to him stirring her drink, ‘they’re good every year, to be honest.’  
‘Oh, you’ve been to more than one?’  
‘Yeah Chris has one almost every year and if I’m in town I always come.’  
‘Oh, this is my first one, how do you know Chris?’  
‘We went to school together back in Boston. I moved to New York to go to college and lived here ever since so when he’s here shooting his big blockbuster films we get together.’  
‘That’s cool.’  
‘How about you?’  
‘I’m in the film.’   
‘Really?’ he asked, his dark blue eyes sparking with interest. They spoke for a while and though Y/N was enjoying Colin’s company she couldn’t help but down drinks to calm her nerves. Each drink seemed like a better idea. Through her peripheries, she could see Chris flitting in and out the kitchen at intervals his eyes landing on her and her new-found friend every time he did. She felt confident like she’d gotten under his skin and Colin’s company made her feel even more self-assured. With each drink, she leaned in closer, laughed a little louder, pushed her chest out a little more. She was so close she could smell Colin’s cologne roll off him and the smell enticed her. Her brain felt fuzzy and as listened to Colin tell a story her eyes fell to his lips watching them frame each word perfectly. She wanted to kiss him. 

Her mind was consumed. She wanted fun. She wanted to forget herself. Stop worrying and enjoy herself. Colin watched her and smiled as she allowed his hand to ensnare her waist and pull her a tiny bit closer. 

‘Can I get past please,’ she heard a familiar voice say from behind her. Her senses were hazy so it took her a second to realise what was happening and when she looked up she found Chris stood beside them looking displeased. Colin moved away from her allowing Chris to move in between them and start to pour drinks.  
‘Great party man,’ Colin said trying to soothe the awkwardness that was now descending around the three of them.  
‘Thanks, you two look like enjoying yourselves,’ Chris said in an airy voice though Y/N was sure there was an edge to it.  
‘I’m going to the bathroom,’ Y/N announced as both men looked at her, ‘Col, pour me another drink?’ she asked in a flirty tone before turning away from the table and walking out of the room hoping that she managed to look graceful in her drunken state rather than like a baby deer.

Once she was gone, Colin turned to his friend and said, ‘Dude what are you doing?’  
‘What do you mean?’ Chris asked confused.   
‘You didn’t see me getting in there?’  
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’  
‘Man, you’re cockblocking me.’  
‘Sorry, but Y/N?’ he asked trying to sound casual.  
‘What’s wrong with Y/N?’  
‘Nothing,’ Chris dismissed, ‘I mean she’s a little young for you don’t you think.’  
‘It’s not as if I’m dropping on one knee dude.’  
‘Sure, sure. I’m just saying,’ Chris said though he felt dismayed his friend didn’t seem to be put off by his attempts. He muttered his goodbyes and then left the kitchen. He made his way past the dozens of people and into the living room where he bumped into Y/N who was making her way back from the bathroom. She stumbled but Chris caught her by the wrist and pulled her toward him balancing her once more.

‘Sorry,’ she said attempting to move off.  
‘What are you doing?’ said Chris cutting the chase.  
‘Excuse me,’ Y/N said looking up at him confused.   
‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough.’  
‘What’s it to you.’  
‘I’m the host of this party. You’re hammered.’  
‘So’s everyone else. Why you are picking on me?’  
‘Are you even allowed to drink?’  
‘Here you go again. I’m 21, not 12. I’m allowed to drink and I don’t know what your problem is but you need to stop. There are people here far more gone than I am and yet I’m the only one you’re getting at,’ she said yanking her wrist from his grip and moving away from him.   
‘You’re the only one throwing yourself at a guy you don’t even know.’  
‘That’s what this is about. Colin?!’  
‘He’s my friend.’  
‘So? He's nice, he’s funny and he’s interested in me. So what if I’ve had something to drink. And you know what if I want to throw myself at him I’m allowed to,’ she sneered before turning away from him and stomping back into the kitchen leaving an irked Chris in her wake. 

As she made her way towards Colin she tried to force the anger from her body though she could feel it pulse around her body. He smiled as she approached him and she smiled back allowing a faux happy expression to become her face.   
‘Hey,’ he said handing her a new drink.  
‘Hey,’ she smiled as she accepted the cup off of him. She took it gracefully and raised it to her lips before downing it in one.   
‘Woah,’ he said chuckling, ‘thirsty?’  
‘Mmhmm,’ she said as she slammed the cup back down on the table. A wave of confidence hit her and before she knew it she had moved towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck before leaning up to kiss him. He kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. Her breath was heavy as she pulled away and she could feel their breath intermingle.   
‘Woah,’ he chuckled.  
‘Mmhmm,’ she laughed back, ‘you know, my apartment is just downstairs. Wanna get out of here?’


	5. Hangovers, Coffee and Notifications

Y/N‘s thoughts were hazy as she awoke but she knew one thing for certain. She was extremely uncomfortable. She turned over in bed allowing the low November sunlight to filter over her from the unmasked window. She couldn’t settle though as she was distinctly aware of the pressure on her bladder begging her to get up from the warmth of the blankets and head to the bathroom. But she couldn’t, her head felt heavy and she felt a distinct wave of nausea when she attempted to move from the quilts cosy grasp. Nevertheless, she forced herself up into a sitting position where she instantly felt the cold air hit her skin making her shiver. Pushing the cover aside she climbed out of bed and padded across to the ensuite where she relieved herself.

Though her bladder was no longer an issue she couldn’t say she felt any better than 5 minutes previous. Her throat was dry and she found herself chugging tap water down via her hand hoping to quench the thirst from her hangover. She didn’t look any better either. Her hair was a mess and her makeup from the last night was smudged, red stains littered her neck and chest from the fake gore she had sported as part of her costume. 

She sighed, grabbing the flannel from the edge of her bath and turning on the tap allowing warm water to aid her in the removal of the remnants of last night. She had just gotten rid of the last of the evidence when she heard a clatter come from next door. Confused she turned off the tap and re-entered the bedroom grabbing her dressing gown on her way to the living room. The living room was deserted, just as she had left it last night, confusing her further. Then she heard the noise again, coming from the kitchen. She moved further into the house and into the kitchen and found Colin, stood with his back to her cooking on the stove. 

The night flooded back to her. It wasn’t that she forgot it per se it was just that her hangover and his absence from her bedroom had caused him to slip her mind. ‘Ahem,’ she coughed causing him to turn around.  
‘Oh hey, I hope you don’t mind I made breakfast. I couldn’t find a coffee machine or the equivalent though?’ he said in a puzzled voice as he went back to cooking. Y/N moved into the kitchen and sat down at the small table.  
‘Thanks, and I don’t have a coffee machine. I have a kettle,’ she said gesturing to the kettle plugged in by the stove, ‘I’m not a big coffee drinker. I’ve got tea bags or instant but that’s about it.’  
‘No problem. How do you like your eggs, I’m hoping scrambled because I think I messed these up.’  
‘Scrambled,’ Y/N chuckled, ‘you want a drink?’  
‘Sure, coffee, black. Please.’

Y/N nodded, though he couldn’t see her, and moved to stand next to him switching on the kettle to pour them a drink. They were done at the same time and were moving to sit down at the table almost simultaneously. That’s when the awkwardness started to descend. Last night they had had loads to talk about but without alcohol to increase her confidence she was at a loss. Colin sensed it too, his face seemed to be stuck in an awkward smile as he tucked into his eggs, grateful for the distraction.   
‘So…’ Y/N started, not looking up from her meal as she ate.  
‘So.’   
They stopped, looking at each other sheepishly. And before Y/N could stop herself she found herself in a fit of giggles. Colin joined in, finding her laughter infectious. 

‘Well…this is awkward huh?’ Colin chuckled.  
‘Yep.’  
‘So, last night was…’  
‘Good.’  
‘Yeah, good,’ he agreed with a chuckle.  
‘Drunk, no doubt about that.’  
‘Agreed. I don’t know who was worse.’  
‘It’s our own fault for standing next to the drinks table all night.’  
‘You might have a point. But seriously I had a good time.’  
‘Me too. And I’m not just saying that because you made me eggs.’  
‘That’s good to know…but erm I just want to put it out there,’ Colin said. He stopped eating now and after he had placed his knife and fork down he looked up at her with a nervous expression, ‘I’m not really looking for anything right now. Relationship-wise.’  
Y/Ns eyes went wide and she could feel the familiar feeling of embarrassment flooding back through her system, ‘Oh my god, me either! You didn’t think- ‘  
‘No, no, no, I just didn’t want-‘  
‘Don’t worry I’m not like that. I’m not looking for anything like that. I mean I had a good time don’t get me wrong but no-‘  
‘Oh right, right. So, you don’t regret last night or?’  
‘No of course not! I was drunk sure but I was at a party and you’re nice, cute funny. I had a good time.’  
‘Good, good.’  
‘Can I ask you one favour though?’ she added warily, her eyes no longer meeting his gaze.  
‘Sure.’  
‘Could you perhaps not mention this to Chris?’

Her eyes flicked up and caught his facial expression which was slightly confused.   
‘Sure why?’ he asked perplexed. She looked up, a casual expression donning her face.   
‘He was just getting at me last night for drinking so much. I just don’t want him to have a go at me for being ‘irresponsible’’ she sighed   
‘Oh right, yeah he seemed off yesterday. Think It was the stress of being the perfect host,’ he sniggered.  
‘Yeah probably,’ she giggled. 

With that, they finished breakfast and cleared up before they said their goodbyes and Colin headed home. Y/N made herself busy after that tidying her apartment, doing chores, trying to get the smears of red out of the stark white rental costume in hopes she could return it. She hadn’t even noticed she hadn’t had her phone by her side all day. She found it dropped by the side of her bed, dead. She plugged it in allowing the apple logo to appear on the illuminated screen and then flick to her home screen – a picture of her and Tom and Tessa on a walk. 

She waited to allow all her notifications since last night to flood in. Twitter replies Instagram tags, Snapchats and WhatsApp messages flooded in all at once causing her phone to ping loudly. Though some notifications took her notice more than others. 

Chris Evans 00:43

Hey did you leave already?

Chris Evans 00:55

Look I know you’re mad at me but you’re hammered. Just text me when you’re home.

Chris Evans 04:32

I’m assuming you’re home. Please text otherwise I’m coming down. 

She sighed. Why were his actions so conflicting? He didn’t want to date her but he wanted to be her friend. But he didn’t ask her to her party. Then he seemed to care about her being with Colin. But only because she was too young for Colin. Now he wanted to see her home safe. Her head was spinning with confusion. She wished she didn’t like him. She wished her heart didn’t skip at the idea of him caring for her. But she was also angry. Angry he couldn’t just grow up and make his mind up.

Nevertheless, she opened up her phone and replied. 

‘Home.’


	6. Watching Football and Getting Drunk

The feeling of unease on set had become palpable. Since Halloween and the following morning’s texts, neither Chris nor Y/N had spoken to each other. It wasn’t that they were being rude or mean. If anything, they seemed to be quite civil. Sure, they weren’t friends but they had seemed to come to an unspoken agreement that the best way of dealing with their problems was to not acknowledge them. 

Whilst Chris was having no problems with this arrangement Y/N was floundering. She had become quite happy with the way things had been going at the start of filming. She had made new friends and fallen into a routine and now everything was out of sync. The most consistent characters in the film were her character, Steve, Sam and Bucky which meant the most consistent actors on set were her, Chris, Anthony and Seb. Since falling out with Chris she hadn’t really been able to spend time with the other two as he monopolised them. Sure, there were other actors in the film but they came and went, their scenes filmed in a day. And the crew was a whole different story. She got along with everyone but they had their own jobs to do. When she had down time they were still working on every other scene. She was alone and she was starting to feel it. 

The only thing keeping her going was Thanksgiving break. As a Brit, she wasn’t celebrating like everyone else. Most people were going home to their families for big meals and celebrating. She, however, was staying in New York and spending the weekend with her best friend Tom who was flying in specially. 

It was the last day of filming before the break and Y/N was sitting aside of the soundstage waiting for the crew to finish resetting for her last scene of the day.  
‘Hey Y/N, touch up?’ said Miranda the make-up artist.  
‘Sure thanks,’ she said as she got up from her chair and moved to sit at the makeup station.   
‘So,’ Miranda said as Y/N got settled in the chair, ‘got any Thanksgiving plans?’  
‘Not really, my friend is flying in but other than that we’re not doing much.’  
‘Oh,’ she said though her voice seemed uneasy, ‘when are they flying in?’  
‘Tonight. Why?’  
‘You haven’t heard?’  
‘What?’  
‘It’s just that all major airports are cancelling flights left, right, and centre. I mean loads of the cast and crew have had problems today trying to get makeup flights so they can get home in time for Thanksgiving.’  
‘Really?’ Y/N said crestfallen.  
‘Yeah, I guess I’m lucky I’m from Brooklyn it’s not so far from a drive home.’  
‘Yeah, at least someone’s going home. I’ll have to ring him.’

And with that, she whipped out her phone and dialled Tom’s number. He answered on the third ring.  
‘Y/N oh my God. Have you seen the news?’  
‘No but someone said about flights and- ‘  
‘All flights into JFK are grounded. So’s everything out of Heathrow and Luton. I’ve tried everything and every airport but no luck.’  
‘Why though?’  
‘Weather conditions. The snow and ice are horrible everywhere.’  
‘I mean it was bad this morning on the way into work but other than that I didn’t think it was that bad.’  
‘Y/N, I don’t think I’ll be able to get there this weekend.’  
‘Don’t sweat it. I’ll see you around Christmas, though right?’  
‘Right,’ Tom said dejected, ‘Speak later?’  
‘Yeah, bye Tom.’  
‘Bye Y/N/N.’

The phone clicked off and Y/N placed it back in her costume pocket just as Anthony appeared next to her and sat down in the makeup chair beside her.   
‘Hey Y/N,’ he said.  
‘Hey Ant,’ she said with a chuckle as he slid into a stretched position, his leg dangling over the arm of the chair.  
‘Where have you been kiddo, feel like I’ve not seen you in forever.’  
‘Oh, you know our scenes haven’t lined up and I’ve just been busy y’know.’  
‘What are you doing for break?’  
‘Nothing now, Tom was flying in but every flight has been cancelled so he’s not coming anymore.’  
‘Yeah, we’re all feeling it. None of the guys are going home either, our flights are grounded.’  
‘That sucks, I bet your kids are disappointed huh?’  
‘Yeah, but at least I can watch the game in peace now. Hey, you’re welcome to join us if you want.’  
‘Join you?’ Y/N said a sense of uneasiness coming over her. She didn’t want to be rude but she suspected ‘us’ was about Anthony, Seb and Chris. There was no way she would be able to get out of this without sounding suspicious. She wished she hadn’t landed herself in it by confessing to her blank schedule. 

‘Yeah, we’re gonna watch the game at my apartment then go out to a bar or something. Probably grab something to eat, we’re not so hot with the whole cooking thing.’  
‘You can’t make something between the three of you?’  
‘Well if you want to have a go…’  
‘No thanks. Anyway, I think I’ll pass.’  
Anthony’s face fell but it bounced back quickly and he eyed her suspiciously.  
‘Really?’  
‘Yeah, I mean the games not really my thing. Football and that.’  
‘Well, you don’t have to come to the game part just come out to the bar.’  
‘Erm- ‘  
‘Unless you don’t want- ‘  
‘I do, of course, I’ll come.’  
‘Great. I’ll text you with the plans once we’ve started watching the game okay?’  
‘Brill,’ Y/N said. In the distance, she heard her name being shouted for shooting and so she thanked Miranda and said goodbye to Anthony before heading back to set. 

The day passed into the next and Y/N awoke on Thanksgiving to find herself feeling uneasy. It was late in the day when she got up and she had already received a text from Anthony telling her they would meet at a bar a few blocks from her apartment at 6:30 which only made her feel worse. Her stomach was in knots at the thought of the plans and she didn’t know how she was going to act normal around them for hours on end. After deliberating for some time, she decided to put it out of her mind and have a bath. Following her long hot soak, she ate and then watched some of the Thanksgiving Day TV.

Around five o’clock she started to get ready and was at the bar ready and waiting for the boys at half six. The bar was packed. Y/N had always assumed that Thanksgiving was a holiday where people stayed in with their families but was finding many people had had the idea of turning out to a bar for food and drink. Once she ordered a drink she headed to the back of the bar and grabbed a booth where she slid inside and pulled out her phone so she had something to do whilst she waited. Y/N wasn’t paying attention as she sipped on her drink and she only looked up when a cough sounded near her. Her attention was drawn to Chris who stood at the entrance of the booth looking apprehensively at her.   
‘Hey,’ he muttered as he climbed into the booth beside her, ‘Seb and Mack are just getting drinks.’  
‘Okay,’ she muttered, her eyes dropping back to her phone as he situated himself next to her. She felt terrible. Her stomach was in knots but fortunately, Anthony and Seb arrived not long after and slid in either side of the pair.  
‘Hey kiddo, how’s your first thanksgiving been?’ Anthony asked, his tone as bouncy and his eyes were alight as he spoke to her.  
‘Alright, obviously not as good as you guys,’ she replied her gaze flitting from one man to the other all of whom appeared to be in a similarly merry state, ‘are you drunk?’  
‘Isn’t everyone on Thanksgiving?’ Seb said.  
‘I know that’s the point of Christmas but...’ she giggled.   
‘We’re gonna have to teach you the true meaning of Thanksgiving.’  
‘Watching football and getting drunk?’  
‘She’s getting it,’ Chris chuckled. 

It wasn’t as bad as she thought. She was managing okay, granted the conversation between her and Chris was minimal but she thought she was pulling it off okay. They were civil and managed to keep communication between the boys. Y/N felt some relief whilst they ate. Though she couldn’t face anything the boys barely spoke as they shovelled in mountains of food making the most of their cheat day. 

The boys got rowdier the longer they stayed but Y/N couldn’t participate in their joy. Though she hadn’t had a lot to drink she was feeling horrendous. She felt rampantly sick, nausea from the booze hitting her hard. Once the boys got debating today’s game Y/N saw an opening to escape to the bathroom and asked Chris to move so she could slide past him. He frowned at her pallid look but obliged and she slipped past him and headed to the ladies room. It wasn’t crowded most of the bar’s population was male and she suspected that was due to the constant sports coverage being played in the back room of the bar. At this point, Y/N was feeling really unwell and she swayed as she got in the cubicle. In the company of others, she hadn’t realised how drunk she had become and now she had to hold herself up to stop the room from spinning. Her grip on the toilet paper dispenser loosened and she found felt the urge to heave herself forward and throw up. 

As she stood up her mind became woozy, the blood rushing to her head meant she was forced to sit back down abruptly so she didn’t fall. She was ringing with sweat and her stomach churned, in short, she felt disgusting. Y/N waited a while before moving but eventually, she was able to heave herself up from the toilet seat and flush before finally moving out into the cool tiled bathroom on the other side of the cubicle door. Though Y/N still felt woozy wetting her face made her feel slightly better. There was a faint knock on the door and then it opened to reveal Chris.  
‘Hey,’ he said concern etched on his features. Y/N frowned the idea of having an argument right now was less than ideal.  
‘Look,’ she said feeling a wave of nausea hit her again, ‘I’m not in the mood for a fight right now.’  
‘I’m not here to fight,’ he stated simply, ‘we were just worried about you…you’ve been in here a while. Just checking you’re okay.’  
‘I’m fine,’ she muttered through another wave of nausea which had hit her so suddenly she was forced to run back into the toilet and throw up.   
‘You’re not alright. How much have you had to drink?’  
‘Not a lot,’ she said defensively.   
‘I think you should go home,’ he said. She was about to snap at him but the fight wasn’t in her. She felt so rotten and hungover she couldn’t even try.   
‘You’re right.’  
‘I’ll take you home.’   
‘Nope you’re alright, thanks,’ she said wiping her mouth she moved past him back into the bar. He followed her, hovering near her uneasily. They made their way back to the table and Y/N bid her goodbyes. As she picked up her bag and coat Chris said, ‘You sure you don’t want me to walk you home?’  
‘I’m fine. Stop worrying about me. I drank too much and threw up, it’s not a big deal.’  
‘Well at least call me when you get home so I know you’re okay.’  
‘Fine,’ she said though no one missed her eye roll. 

Once she left the boys returned to their debate though Chris’ heart wasn’t truly in it. He hadn’t been drinking much tonight. Since Anthony had told him about his new invitation he had felt troubled. This was only added to the fact that since Halloween he had felt awful. He didn’t want to argue with Y/N but he found he became so irrational when she was around. That was why he got so het up when Colin had hit on her. Why he didn’t know what to say to her the past few weeks. He supposed it was because he wanted to be with her but there was still so much that could go wrong if they got together.

He still cared about her though. Even if she wanted nothing to do with him. ‘You alright man?’ Anthony said noticing his vacant expression.  
‘Yeah fine, I’m just a little tired. I think I’m going to head home.’  
‘Aw come on,’ Seb groaned.   
‘Sorry guys, I’m just not feeling it,’ he said grabbing his jacket from his side. They grumbled but eventually said goodnight and let him go. Chris moseyed back to his apartment, walking slowly through the cold and snowy November evening which meant he was almost frozen when he got back to his apartment block as the alcohol in his system had long since diminished leaving him vulnerable to the cold. The warmth of the building was a welcomed relief when he got inside and though he was actually tired he found himself pressing the button on the elevator for Y/N’s floor rather than his. 

He knocked on her day but had no reply. The longer he waited the more worried he became and so he knocked again. When he still received nothing, he tested the door handle and found it unlocked and so he entered. The apartment was still and he wondered whether she’d even come home. He called her name but she didn’t reply and so he pulled out his phone and rang her number. The generic iPhone ringtone rang out loud and he followed it to the bathroom which was where he found it lay on the cold tile floor of the bathroom next to Y/N’s clammy, passed out form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt a bit disheartened writing this week because of the way the story was going. Not sure how I'm feeling but continued it as i once planned


	7. Friends in the ER

Y/N didn’t remember much about the journey to the hospital. The cold tile against her raging hot body and Chris’ frantic voice in her ear was the first thing she remembered and then the haze of movement out of the apartment and into a cab. The first thing that became distinct in her mind was her being lay on a hospital bed in the emergency room with drips and machines beeping all around her with Chris sitting on a too-small chair dozing in the corner of her tiny ER cubicle.

‘Chris,’ she whispered hoarsely as her throat was horrendously dry. He roused at the sound of his name and his eyes snapped open. Once he realised she was awake he was at her side in a flash his eyes frantic as he bombarded her with questions.   
‘You’re awake, how are you? How do you feel? Do you want the nurse I can get her, she was just in here hey-‘he began to shout for the nurse but Y/N reached out weakly and grabbed the fabric of his shirt seizing his attention.   
‘Water,’ she said forcing herself up into a sitting position though the pain in her side sharpened as she moved. Chris moved to collect his bottle of water that rested by his plastic chair leg and gave it to her allowing her to chug it down. Relief washed over her as the cool water ran down her throat. She glugged it down before stopping abruptly as nausea she had felt earlier returning with a vengeance. Y/N moved the bottle away giving it to Chris in haste as she reached for the sick bowl that had been rested on her legs in anticipation of this need. 

The surge came and went and Y/N flopped back onto the bed in exhaustion as Chris watched her worriedly.   
‘You okay?’ he asked.  
‘Not really, I feel horrendous. What’s going on?’ she asked, suppressing a burp which she feared may be another round of vomiting.   
‘Well,’ Chris said, moving his chair from where it was situated in the corner towards the trolley, ‘I found you on the floor all passed out and ill so I rushed you here.’  
‘What’s wrong with me?’  
‘I don’t know. I mean you were pretty passed out and hazy when I brought you in. They think it was to do with the pain and the fever.’  
‘Or the drink.’  
‘Yeah, that probably didn’t help though you didn’t have much. But I suppose in combination with whatever’s going on.’  
‘Yeah. Anyway, I couldn’t give them much information and you were a bit useless no offence,’ he said with a wry smile making her chuckle, which in turn made her wince as the pain resurged in her. He noticed but continued with a concerned smile, ‘so they don’t know a lot. They’ve checked you over and everything. Gave you something for the fever and a drip but I don’t know what they think.’

Y/N nodded as she looked at her surroundings. He was right, in the time she had been spaced out they had put a drip in her arm and from what it looked like taken blood. At that moment, what Y/N assumed was a nursed entered the cubicle and said, ‘Oh you’re up!’   
Y/N smiled weakly and nodded as the nurse moved further into the cubicle and fiddled with the monitors next to her. She moved silently and Y/N allowed herself to be prodded and poked. She took her blood pressure and felt her pulse. She checked her drip and asked her several questions. The nurse, who introduced herself as Sharon, produced a chart which she offered to Y/N with a pen. The chart appeared to have already been partially filled in – by Chris she assumed looking at the handwriting. It was all personal information and insurance details. She jotted down the rest of the answers as the nurse continued her work before accepting it from her gratefully and then situating herself on her stool she turned to Y/N and said, ‘You gave your friend quite a scare there. How are you feeling now?’  
‘Rotten. I’ve still got loads of pain in my belly.’  
‘Do you feel nauseous?’   
‘A little bit.’  
‘Have you vomited since you woke up?’  
‘I thought I was going to when I had some water but no.’  
‘Okay,’ Sharon said as her eyes flicked from Y/N to the bottle of water she had procured from Chris, ‘maybe don’t drink or eat anything from now on. On the upside, your temperature has come right down. Your pulse is still a little fast though, do you need any pain relief?’  
‘Yes please,’ Y/N said a little too frantically causing Chris to smirk.   
‘Okay,’ she said as she rose from her stool and disappeared before reappearing almost instantly with a few tablets in a pot. Y/N accepted them gratefully and threw them down at once washing them down with the smallest sip of water. Sharon smiled at her as she said, ‘Okay so the doctor is going to come and review you pretty soon and they’re going to find out what’s going on. I’m around if you need anything just give me a shout.’  
‘Okay,’ Y/N and Chris said in unison. Sharon smiled and ducked out the cubicle leaving Y/N and Chris alone. 

‘So, I was a mess huh?’ she chuckled as Chris moved back to his seat next to her.  
‘Yeah, I was erm,’ he said his eyes dropping to the floor, ‘really worried about you. I mean at the bar you’d seemed fine and then you were just being sick so when I found you all passed out on the floor I was really worried.’ A silence threatened to linger as he said those words. His face was etched with worry and Y/N didn’t know what to say as a knot returned to her stomach.  
‘Well, at least I’m not comatose now.’  
‘Well yeah.’

In Y/N’s vulnerable state she hadn’t had the strength to be catty or frosty and so the two chatted more amicably than they had in weeks. About half an hour after the nurse had seen Y/N the doctor came into the cubicle and examined her. He was tall and middle-aged and followed by an entourage of eager 20 somethings who asked her a lot of questions. ‘So, Miss Y/L/N I’ve looked at your chart and your blood results and I think you’re suffering from appendicitis.’  
‘Okay,’ Y/N said nervously.  
‘So, the plan is to move you to a ward and get you situated. We’re going to get a CT scan to confirm our thoughts and then list you for the OR. Okay?’   
Y/N nodded as the doctor snapped off his gloves and said goodbye before leaving with his gaggle of other doctors. 

‘Well at least we know what’s going on now,’ Chris said.  
‘Yeah,’ she agreed. It was another 10 minutes before the nurse reappeared and told her that she was going to be moved.   
‘Chris, could you get me some stuff from home?’  
‘Sure, what do you need?’  
‘My phone, some clothes, toiletries and stuff.’  
‘Okay. I’ll run home and bring you some back.’  
‘You won’t be allowed to stay I’m afraid. You’ll have to ring the ward she’s on to find out visiting times,’ Sharon said, much to Y/N’s dismay, as she began to wheel the trolley out of the cubicle with help of a porter.  
‘Okay,’ Chris said sadly and he was left alone in the cubicle as Y/N was wheeled out of sight.


	8. Reconciliation

After a couple of days, Y/N was discharged. Though she was still in quite a bit of discomfort she couldn’t wait to get home from the hospital over in a holiday season wasn’t exactly a calm and relaxing environment to recuperate in. She was home by the weekend and had a crowd of visitors come in as news had flown through the cast and crew like wildfire. She was touched that so many people seemed to care though she found herself getting exhausted at the simplest things and not quite ready to return to work as the Thanksgiving break ended. 

Production rolled on into the end of November and Y/N found herself rattling around the house all day, though she finally managed to see some of the city which she had been waiting to do since she touched down for production. A welcome distraction came in the form of Chris who came straight from work to check on her late in the evenings. 

The animosity between the two had disappeared totally. Since Chris had seen her so vulnerable they seemed to have come to another unspoken agreement and forgiven each other’s pettiness. He came a little after seven most nights and brought food so they could spend the night on the couch watching films. The rest of the visits, from other colleagues, died down after the first couple of days and so he was the only person she got to see by the end of the week. Y/N didn’t mind though. On the contrary, she was delighted with these interactions. In fact, the nights were a solace since she had been off work Y/N hadn’t considered what a loss it had been to have him so distant. Now he was so present she couldn’t believe he’d ever been away. 

After a week off work, she was ready to return. Her doctor had given her the okay providing she didn’t drive for another week and any strenuous activity was avoided for a while. Y/N agreed to her terms as she was eager to get back to it and the production could return to its normal schedule. On the Sunday before she returned Chris came over, as he usually did, and brought Sebastian and Anthony with him. They ordered in and lounged around on the sofa enjoying the news around Y/N’s imminent return. Y/N had convinced the boys that the only thing that would make her feel better would be to binge watch one of her favourite shows. 

‘Wait so Philip did the dirty on the Queen?’ said Sebastian, looking at Y/N puzzled.   
‘Well, it’s speculation but…’  
‘No way,’ he said wide-eyed.  
‘How can you cheat on the Queen of England, I mean like she’s the queen,’ Anthony said.   
‘I know but,’ Y/N shrugged as she munched on potato chips.   
‘Brits are weird,’ Anthony chuckled earning a light-hearted glare from Y/N.  
‘Woah, let’s not get into that debate Mack-Attack because you’re not gonna win,’ she said.   
‘Oh, you think so?’ Chris said with a raised eyebrow.  
‘Uh huh,’ she said with another glare now in his direction, ‘don’t be coming for my people.’

A laugh broke out amongst the group before it died down as they turned the attention back to the screen. The boys seemed engrossed, excited even, as Y/N announced they would be able to see the next season soon. Though after a while they started to fidget. Y/N noticed it in Chris the most who was stationed on the couch to her right and was now shuffling awkwardly in his seat. Her eyes drifted from him and back to the screen and stayed there until he was no longer unnoticeable. Chris turned to look at her and said, ‘could you perhaps turn the thermostat up? I’m a little cold here.’   
His eyes were big and begging to which Y/N turned to look for other opinions. Sebastian and Anthony seemed to agree with Chris’ opinion. Y/N bit her lip and paused before admitting ‘Erm, the heating’s out, sorry.’

They looked at her puzzled and Chris sat so he was facing her and said, ‘what why?’  
‘I don’t know why it just sort of broke yesterday.’  
‘You didn’t have a look at it?’ Anthony said.  
‘No?’  
‘Why didn’t you call the super or something?’ Chris said as if her actions were completely implausible.   
‘I don’t know, I just kinda left it, it’s not a big deal.’  
‘You’re going without heat Y/N,’ Seb said concerned.  
‘Guys it’s not a big deal. It’ll get sorted.’  
‘You see this is where you need to be a grown-up Y/N,’ Chris said with an exasperated sigh.  
‘Alright dad,’ Y/N said with a roll of her eyes, ‘I’ll get a man in tomorrow.’  
‘That’s what I like to hear,’ Chris said with a grin.   
‘You see that’s the difference between being 20 and being 40. Just get someone to come in, it’s no good being without heat,’ Antony chuckled as he jabbed Y/N in her side.   
‘You know once some of my student friends and I didn’t use one of the rooms in our flat share because there wasn’t a light.’  
‘What?’ Chris exclaimed.  
‘Yeah, we didn’t get a new bulb for like 6 months so we just sort of stopped using that room.’  
‘That’s ludicrous,’ he said as the boys shook their heads with a laugh before Chris moved to shove Y/N’s legs off the table where they were resting as he whined, ‘and I’m still cold by the way.’  
‘There’s a blanket in my bedroom closet you big baby,’ she said resisting the urge to stick out her tongue. Chris rolled his eyes and got up dramatically as if the mere act of getting up was an achievement. 

He moved through the room and into her bedroom, moving towards the closet in search of a blanket he was in desperate need of. He pulled back the door and which revealed her neatly ordered cupboard to his eyes which scanned for any sign of warmth. Her clothes hung in a neat row with a shelf above it. Chris rummaged around it with a hand but felt nothing in the way of a blanket. He crouched to observe the bottom of the closet which was laden with boxes. Resting on top of one plastic box was a plush wool blanket neatly folded which he grabbed and pulled up. It unravelled to his dismay bringing with it a scrunched mess of black fabric. He moved the blanket out of the way and picked up the black fabric, shaking it out so he could fold it and put it back. It looked familiar and as he shook it out he found it to be a cop uniform. A very familiar cop uniform. 

A pit grew in Chris’ stomach as his mind cast back to the last time he’d seen this uniform. But why was it here? In her closet, why would she keep it? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. As his name was called he the stuffed the uniform shirt back into the closet and grabbed the blanket moving back into the living room at a pace. He was stony and silent as he sat down in his chair, the new information swirling around in his brain.   
‘You okay?’ Y/N asked with a smile as he fell down into the seat with a thud. Chris turned his head and said ‘yeah’ though his smile was half-hearted. What had he missed?


	9. Everybody Needs A Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming into the last chapters now, thanks for reading! The story wraps up around Christmas time as it was requested for holiday theme. Fluff is to come Xx

Chris was struggling. Since finding Colin’s Halloween costume in the back of Y/N closet he had been consumed by despair. He didn’t know why and he had been toying with the whole situation ever since. 

He supposed it wasn’t a big deal. Y/N was a grown up and entitled to sleep with whomever she wanted. She had, after all, slept with him and he hadn’t complained then. And he had been the one to put the brakes on their relationship going any further, so, why shouldn’t she? He guessed that it all boiled down to the fact that he still liked her. He had allowed technicalities to get in the way and told her she wasn’t for him and now she was moving on from him and living her life he was upset. He didn’t want her not to, he didn’t expect her to be sat in bed somewhere crying and wallowing over him but he did curse himself for being so stupid. 

That’s why he hadn’t spoken to her. Since her illness, they had become friends again, the anger from previous fights melting away and a natural truce reigning down. He’d missed her so much in those lonely few months so when they had become friends again he was happy. But he didn’t want to ruin it. He didn’t want to be angry or fight with her, so he didn’t. He simply said nothing instead. He dodged her on set best he could and blew off her attempts to see him outside of work and though he was never nasty he was sure she had noticed. 

One step forward and two steps back. That was all Y/N could think of when Chris blew her off for the sixth time this week. She didn’t know what she had done but the drama of this friendship was starting to get to her. The frosty nature December had mirrored their dynamic once more. She wanted to confront him about it, scream if she had to, but she didn’t know why. She didn’t know exactly what she would be kicking off about so she kept quiet and allowed him to wallow in the angst he had confined himself to once more. 

Instead, she tried to put it out of her mind. Luckily for her, Tom was flying in for the best part of a month and then the two of them were travelling back to London to spend Christmas together with their families. Her small stature wasn’t helpful as she stood amongst the throngs of people waiting for their loved ones at the arrivals gate in the middle of the airport. Standing on her tiptoes she peered over the tops of heads hoping to spot a familiar face. Tom appeared through the gate and his eyes scanned the room before landing on her. Breaking into the biggest smile he moved quickly, his suitcase trundling behind him unevenly, to get to Y/N who was moving at a pace through the throng of people between her and her best friend. 

‘Y/N,’ Tom exclaimed as she embraced him he hands wrapping tightly around his heavily layered torso.   
‘Tom, I’m so happy to see you!’ she squealed into his shoulder, smiling as she felt his body rumble underneath her as he chuckled. Tom pulled back and looked down at her with a smile before she moved to stand next to him and the two of them walked in step towards the airport exit. The journey home was considerably more hectic than the journey to the airport as Tom got far more attention than Y/N did. As one of his best friends, she had become accustomed to the flock of fans that now surrounded him most places he went and so she never minded and even felt overwhelmed that people seemed to be interested in her too. 

Once bundled into the company car the two of them headed back to Y/N apartment for a relaxed night of catching up. Tom told her all about his newest press tour and an offer he’d had for an amazing upcoming film. He updated her all about his family and Tess. She told him all about the film and invited him to set over the next coming weeks. Traffic was hectic due to the bad weather but they made it home in good time and were soon bundled up in her living room watching Netflix and eating good food. It was the happiest Y/N had been all week. 

Amidst shovelling popcorn into his mouth Tom asked her, ‘so what are we gonna do while I’m here? What are you going to treat your best mate to?’  
‘I don’t know whatever you want,’ said Y/N as she flicked through her phone which was promptly knocked out of her hand by Tom’s extended foot, ‘what are you doing?’  
‘I just flew 8 hours to grace you with my presence and there’s no itinerary and you’re on your phone how charming.’  
‘Oh, come on, you asked what the treat was when it’s obviously me.’  
‘Funny,’ Tom deadpanned, ‘come on, what can we do?’  
‘I don’t know you’ve seen the city before I thought we could just hang out, I didn’t think we needed a full list of things specifically.’  
‘Well I want entertaining,’ he chuckled watching as Y/N collected her phone from the wedge of the couch.  
‘Alright, alright. Fames changed you y’know. You’re very demanding,’ she giggled causing Tom to burst out laughing. They formed a list of things to do in the city and arranged their itinerary for the next few weeks. Everything was going to plan but Y/N’s blood ran cold as Tom said, ‘Oh, I should text Chris he said to tell him when I was in town and we could all catch a Rangers game – he said you’d like that and then do dinner or something?’ 

Tom moved quickly and his fingers tapped away at the screen rapidly as Y/N watched him in a dilemma. She couldn’t think of a cover story for dissuading Tom from inviting Chris to any plans that they had. And she couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t force her to have to explain her motives. But as Tom’s hands slowed and he clicked the send button she couldn’t stop her voice as it overcame her and said, ‘Oh I don’t think Chris can. He’s busy.’  
Tom looked up confused and said, ‘you don’t even know when the game is yet, how do you know he’s busy?’ 

Y/N didn’t look at him but instead moved to collect the take-out tins that lay on the coffee table as she replied in an airy tone, ‘Oh I think I heard him mention being busy that’s all.’   
She moved quickly, hoping Tom would brush off the remark and move on. She moved from the living room to the kitchen, her arms laden with boxes and containers. She dumped them in the kitchen bin and took the plates they’d used to the kitchen sink, running the water over them and waiting for it warm up. To her dismay, she heard the patter of feet behind her as Tom followed her into the kitchen.   
‘He can’t be busy every single night I’m in town. Even if he can’t go to a game we can still hang out with him, Mackie and Seb right?’  
‘Uh sure,’ she said, her eyes focused on the water which was now throwing steam off it as it splashed back off the plates. She could feel his eyes on her as she ignored him and he watched her curiously.  
‘Unless you don’t want to?’  
‘Course I do.’  
‘Then why are you being weird?’ he asked. She turned to him and scoffed.  
‘What do you mean?’  
‘Since I mentioned Chris you’ve gone all weird. Do you not like him or something?’  
‘Don’t be daft of course I do-’  
‘Is it Mackie then, Seb?’  
‘No, it’s nothing like that.’  
‘So, it is something?’ he asked as he moved to rest on the countertop.  
‘Tom-’  
‘Y/N we’ve not seen each other in months, whatever’s going on you can tell me you now. I am your best friend in case you’ve forgotten.’  
‘Of course, I haven’t,’ she said incredulously watching as Tom rolled his eyes, ‘I haven’t!’  
‘So why won’t you just tell me what’s going on?’ he challenged. Y/N sighed and dropped the sponge she was holding back into the steamy water before turning to face where he rested. With a sigh, she dried her hands on a nearby tea towel and muttered, ‘things aren’t exactly okay with us right now.’  
‘Who?’ Tom asked.  
‘Chris and me.’  
‘Why not?’  
‘You tell me,’ she scoffed before she realised her tone sounded harsher than normal and she pulled back to say, ‘he’s sort of ignoring me. Look it’s a whole big thing and that’s just where we are right now, so hanging out might be out of the picture that’s all.’

‘Okay,’ Tom said accepting that answer for a second. Y/N smiled and turned back to continue washing up, ‘so what’s the situation?’  
‘Tom,’ she sighed, ‘it’s not a big deal just leave it eh?’  
‘No, I want to know what’s going on.’  
‘It’s nothing.’  
‘It’s got you all jumpy and frustrated   
‘I’m fine.’  
‘Tell your face then.’  
‘Tom just drop it.’  
‘Why should I?’  
‘Because.’  
‘Oh, good come back.’  
‘Tom stop it!’  
‘I’m just saying it’s probably not that big of deal if you just asked him I bet he would-’  
‘Tom just leave it!’  
‘No! What’s going on? Are you fighting? Did he hurt you? Is it to do with work? Did he-’  
‘We slept together!’ she shouted. 

The silence was ringing. Tom stood there with his mouth agape watching her in disbelief. Y/N’s hands flew to her face, the embarrassment and emotion of finally telling someone overwhelming her. And then she broke. Completely and utterly. For months on end, she had been riding an emotional rollercoaster, the drama of it all hit her all at once and floored her completely, causing sobs to break free from her as she burst into tears. Panicked Tom rushed forward and threw his arms around her, enclosing her in a hug. She cried for God knows how long and Tom stood there with her, allowing her to, in the middle of her kitchen. Once the tears started to slow and her breathing became less shaky he moved out of her grasp and led her back to the couch where they sat down and fell back into a cuddle. He flicked the TV on and they watched in silence though neither of them took in what was happening on the screen. Y/N sat with her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her, fiddling with her hair that draped down her back. It was a ritual of theirs since they had been friends for such a long time they had become adept at comforting each other and this was one of the only ways to make her feel better. 

When she finally calmed down Tom lowered the volume of the tv and whispered, ‘ready to talk?’   
With a half-hearted nod, she moved off him observing the mess of tears she had left on his shirt with a sad smirk. He smiled at her as he said, ‘so what’s going on?’  
‘Well,’ she said shakily before explaining everything that had happened since the start of the shoot. Tom didn’t say anything but nodded and winced at the parts of the story that hit him hard and waited patiently for her to finish, ‘and now he's ignoring me. I don’t know why nothing weird happened the last time we hung out and I don’t want to fight with him so I sort of left him alone. But I don’t know what to do.’  
‘Well, you can’t avoid each other forever.’  
‘I know that.’  
‘So maybe you should ask him what’s going on?’  
‘But I don’t want to fight.’  
‘Because you still like him.’  
‘What? Why would you think that? We’re just friends now,’ she said uneasily.   
‘Well, you’d call him out on avoiding you if you were just friends like you would with me. But you’re avoiding him just as much because you don’t want to fight with him. Because you still like him.’  
‘Hang on a minute.’  
‘That’s why fighting with him in the first place hurt you so much because you liked him. That’s why you slept with the other guy, why you didn’t want him to know about it. Look he was pretty shitty about your age and stuff but if you want to be the bigger person, the grown-up,’ he said with a raised eyebrow, ‘you should go and talk to him. Ask him what’s the matter. Honestly, I think he probably still likes you too.’   
‘Oh, come on.’  
‘I think he always did, from what I can tell. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been so annoyed about the other guy. He wouldn’t have cared when you got ill. He’s probably scared. You were back to being friends again and so he probably scared he'll have to confront his feelings if you’re hanging out so much.’  
‘When did you get so philosophical?’ she said with a giggle as she mulled over Tom’s words in her mind. Did he really have a point?

Tom watched her and could see the cogs turning in her mind. If he could make her see his way of thinking the better it would be. She had seemed so sad when she’d told him her predicament it made his heartache. Maybe he would go and speak to Chris himself.


	10. Old Friends and New Enemies

Christmas was rolling in thick and fast. The city was abuzz with festivities and Y/N was thrilled she was able to spend the holidays with her best friend. It was true that Y/N was busy with work most of each day but every minute she had off she spent with Tom. They hadn’t seen each other in a while and were ecstatic to be in one another’s company once more, though Y/N had to confess something felt strange about it. They had known each other from early days in theatre when they had been cast in Billy Elliot and their friendship had never wavered. So, with the success of Spider-Man, it was now weird for her to see all the attention Tom got when they went anywhere. She didn’t begrudge it however, she was so happy he had been successful in the job he loved to do. And as she was part of the Marvel franchise she wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with the excitement her co-stars elicited.

Luckily, they were shooting in NYC so most people weren’t bothered seeing big groups of Marvel cast and crew out and about. Another bonus was that Y/N and Tom had spent 3 months in the city, when they were anonymous, shooting Spider-Man Homecoming so were no longer novices at navigating the city. They had developed their favourite places to go and so were spending some of this visit discovering some more. Quite a few times over the past few weeks they had been joined by some of their other friends. Anthony and Sebastian had joined them both for dinner several nights a week and on their free weekend, the four of them had attended a Rangers game, one of Y/N’s favourite actives. Chris had been absent on all occasions. 

She had missed him but it had been so long since their last encounter and she feared that trying broach any subject now would just be awkward. If Anthony and Sebastian had noticed they hadn’t mentioned anything to her. Tom, however, was livid. He simply couldn’t fathom why the two of them simply wouldn’t speak to each other about what had gone on. He was also annoyed at the state Chris seemed to have gotten her into. He repeatedly told her that she either had to admit she liked him and tell him or forget about it and move on. In a better way than she had already attempted that is. As for Chris, Tom was determined to talk to him but he repeatedly ignored all his attempt at contact and so Tom was low on options. He’d even accompanied Y/N to set on some days hoping to catch him but he managed to avoid him even there. 

But there was no way he’d be able to ignore him tonight. It was the movie's Christmas party and as the star of the show, Chris was obligated to attend. Tom had been invited too, and he was going to use this opportunity to talk some sense into his friends. It was a last-ditch attempt. He was in town until tomorrow when he and Y/N would fly back to London to spend Christmas with their families. 

‘Ready?’ Y/N asked as she stuck her head around the side of the door peering at Tom who was just fastening his shoelace.  
‘Yeah,’ he said as he finished up and smiled at her. He grabbed his jacket that was hanging off the closet door and slipped it on as Y/N moved into the room. She was dressed in a dark crimson dress that clung to her figure and her hair was curled around her face. Tom thought she looked very pretty.  
‘You look lovely,’ he said with a smile as he moved to join her at the door though he was taken aback slightly as they were now the same height due to Y/N’s very tall heels.   
‘You don’t look so bad yourself kiddo,’ she laughed ‘pic?’ 

Tom laughed and nodded as the two of them moved into her living room. Though the room was rented by the studio Y/N had found ways to make it her own and one of her own touches was the extravagantly big mirror she had bought and hung in the hallway of her apartment. The two of them stood in front of it and arranged their outfits once more before Y/N produced her phone and snapped several pictures of her and her best friend before grabbing her leather jacket form the coat rack by the door and heading out. Tom followed her and the two made their way down to the lobby in relative silence as Y/N scrolled through filters on Instagram for their latest photo.   
‘I love this picture,’ she said as the pair waited for the elevator. She shoved her phone under Tom’s nose.  
‘That’s a good one, let me share it?’  
‘Of course,’ she said, ‘though you know we're only going to spark more controversy with this.’  
‘That goes without saying,’ Tom said, ‘did you know that I cheated on you with Zendaya?’  
‘Really?’ she said in fake shock, ‘and here I was feeling guilty because we apparently split up ages ago and I didn’t know? How crazy huh?’   
‘Well at least we’re back together now though,’ Tom said with a giggle as the pair of them now moved through the open elevator doors. They stood there and laughed about the ridiculousness of the current press just as a hand slipped through the door that had closed behind them and caused it to open once more.   
‘Hold the elevator-' said a familiar voice as the doors swung open and revealed Chris to the pair. 

‘Oh,’ he said, his face noticeable falling as he slid into the elevator with an awkward smile.   
‘Hey man,’ Tom said with a faux smile as if he expected a fight to break out right then and there.   
‘Hey Tom,’ Chris said, ‘how are you doing?’  
‘Good,’ Tom said though there was a definitive hardness to his tone.  
‘How long you been in town now?’  
‘About 3 weeks, I’m headed out tomorrow. Well, we are,’ he said gesturing to Y/N who had remained quiet since Chris had joined them in the lift.   
‘Really that’s a bummer,’ Chris said with a dejected face,’ I was looking forward to spending some time with you I’ve just been so busy these past few weeks with erm… family stuff. You know how it is.’  
‘Sure,’ Tom said, ‘don’t worry about it, man. I mean we’ve got all of tonight, right?’   
‘Right,’ Chris said with a smile though a flicker of nerves dashed across his face as he glanced at Y/N. 

The doors pinged open and the three of them stepped out into the harsh lobby light though Chris moved significantly faster than the others, ‘I’ll see you guys there,’ he said in a castaway voice over his shoulder. He moved out of the building quickly and sped down the pavement leaving Tom and Y/N in his wake, very confused.  
‘Woah,’ she said in annoyance, ‘you were right. He really is avoiding me.’  
‘Yeah,’ Tom muttered, ‘not for long though.’

By the time Chris got to the party he was very late. He had chosen to walk from his apartment building in an attempt to avoid an awkward car ride with Y/N and Tom. Now he was frozen, and the cold had set into his bones. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He’d still not resolved his feelings for her and seeing her, even for a short period of time, had left him feeling blue. She looked stunning. 

Chris was doing more than struggling now. He didn’t just like her, he thought he had fallen in love with her. It wasn’t what he had expected and since blowing her off so spectacularly and messing her with a lot he wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted nothing more to do with him. That’s why he’d avoided her so badly. He wanted to lessen the blow. He thought if he didn’t see her it would just go away and he wouldn’t have to face the fact he’d been such a dick. 

When he entered the loft it was bursting with energy. Music thumped loudly and was joined by the raucous conversations and laughter of his merry co-workers who were already far more gone than he was. The house lights were dimmed and the only source of light came from the many fairy lights that had been hung all around the room along with the festive decorations and trees dotted in every crevice of the vast room. Chris’ eyes skimmed around for a familiar face and landed on Anthony and Seb who were situated at the back of the room, lazing on a couple of couches. He moved towards them but as people parted so he could get past the full view came into his eyeline and he saw that they were not alone, they were joined by Tom and Y/N. Her jacket was off now and slung over the top of one of the couches. Her face was illuminated, not only by the Christmas lights but by her sheer happiness. She was in the full flow of a story and her infectious smile radiated her whole face. She had her friends in stitches and though he was not part of the joke Chris couldn’t help but smile. Deciding to bite the bullet he moved forward through the crowd until he reached their table.   
‘Is this seat taken?’ he asked hesitantly.  
‘I’m sorry who are you,’ Anthony asked inquisitively. Though his tone was mocking Chris could see that there was an edge to his joke. Since avoiding Y/N he had been definitely lacking in his participation with his other friends. They had noticed and frequently called him out on it. He’d brushed it off, told them he had family things going on and whilst Seb had given him the benefit of the doubt Mackie was suspicious.   
‘Give the guy a break Mack,’ Seb sighed, his eyes glanced at their other friends as he smiled, ‘sit down bud.’

Chris joined the group and the conversation picked up where it had left off as Y/N was determined not to have an awkward evening. Through the night she even found she was enjoying herself. Chris too. Tom wasn’t though. He couldn’t believe the two of them were being so normal around each other and pretending as if nothing had ever happened. He wanted to speak to Chris. 

After a while Chris stood, and started to gather the empty glasses from the table as he said,’ anyone want another?’ There was a murmuring of agreement and Chris nodded, taking the glasses back to the bar as best he could. Spotting his chance Tom said, ’I’m going to go help him.’  
‘I’m sure he’ll be alright Tom,’ Y/N said knowing how outspoken her best friend could be when he was drunk and fearing he may spill the beans on how candid she had been about the other man.   
‘It’s a lot of drinks,’ Tom said, gesturing around the table which had now grown in numbers with some other members of cast joining the quintet. He moved passed her anxious form and towards the bar where Chris was stood alone, his back to the room. Tom sidled up beside him and leant on the bar.   
‘Hey man,’ Chris said, watching the bartender fill his order.   
‘Hey yourself,’ Tom said, he wasn’t drunk but there was a buzz in his body and so his voice was lower and slower than normal.  
‘You okay bud?’ Chris asked as he sipped his beer, eyeing the boy curiously.  
‘Nope.’  
‘Oh,’ Chris said, ‘how come?’  
‘Y/N’s upset.’  
‘She is?’ Chris asked. Tom didn’t miss the eagerness in his voice and the undertone of worry that rested on the older man’s face.   
‘Yep.’  
‘How come?’  
‘Because she’s a great girl. She’s nice and sweet. She’s funny and really pretty I mean did you see her tonight?’ he asked. Chris smiled for a second but then worry returned, why was Tom saying all of this?  
‘Yeah, I saw her, you’re right she’s pretty cool. Why’s she upset?’  
‘Because despite all of that, people still think it’s okay to dick her around,’ he said with a raised eyebrow.

Chris’ heart sank. Tom knew. And he was right of course, Y/N was a great girl and he had dicked her around. He thought she had moved on by now, he didn’t think shed still be upset. Just in case this had nothing to do with him Chris feigned innocence and said, ‘what do you mean?’  
‘I mean you, you big melon,’ Tom said exasperatedly.  
‘Oh.’  
‘Oh, is right. What were you thinking, sleeping with her and blowing her off when she had to see you every day.’  
‘I wasn’t thinking.’  
‘Damn right you weren’t thinking. She was heartbroken you didn’t want to be with her and then you continually mess her around and make her feelings do yo-yos. You didn’t want to be with her and then you didn’t want her to be with someone else. Then you were nice to her and helped her get through being in the hospital and then you start avoiding her.’  
‘You’re right. I’m an idiot but it’s not that simple.’  
‘No, it's not,’ Tom said, ‘because I'm going to tell you something now and I want you to listen.’  
‘Okay.’  
‘You might think that I’m here to get you two together but I’m not. Because if you’ve still got doubts about being with her and trepidation that because she’s younger than you, you can’t be together then I don’t want you anywhere near her.’  
‘What?’  
‘I’m sick of my best friend getting hurt, I want you to cut the crap and be a grown up. If you love her, like she loves you, go and tell her. I’d be okay with that, happy even. But if you can’t be sure or you don’t know how it would work I want you to leave her alone. She was happy when she saw you tonight, I can tell. But don’t you see you’re just messing with her head again? You’re setting her up for a fall by being nice. Better if you just leave her alone,’ Chris watched as he grabbed a handful of drinks and headed back to the table.

Chris didn’t know what to do. He did love her. He did. But maybe Tom was right. Maybe it would be better if he left her alone like he had been doing. Like he had said from the beginning, he couldn’t guarantee her happiness, he didn’t want to set her up for a fall. As he returned to the table Chris couldn’t help but feel conflicted.


	11. Decisions and Declarations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last proper chapter y'all. Thanks for reading, you've all been such good sports.   
> Love you all x

The party was over for Chris quicker than others. Tom’s words rang in his ears and he couldn’t help but feel guilty every time he looked at Y/N. He didn’t want to lead her on and he was starting to think that Tom was right, he should have just left well alone. And so, when the clock struck midnight Chris thought this was an appropriate time to bid his farewells and duck out for the night. His friends seemed dismayed but nevertheless, they let him go having become accustomed to his antisocial behaviour over the past few weeks. 

Once home he clambered into bed and lay there. Thinking about what he was going to do. He thought about it logically as he had when had first rejected her. He loved her. There was no doubt about that in his mind and Tom had said she liked him. But it wasn’t enough. She was young, young enough that what she might want out of a relationship wouldn’t be what he wanted. And she was at the start of her career and he didn’t want to stand in the way of her becoming successful by tarring her name with his if they ever split up. Plus, she was British. It wasn’t guaranteed that she would want to live in this country and Chris couldn’t see a future with him living in the UK. He didn’t know for sure she felt the same, Tom had said she liked him but was it, love? She seemed to be doing alright without him and so he doubted it. 

After tossing and turning in bed for hours on end Chris had come to a decision. He was going to leave her alone. He wasn’t going to pursue a relationship any further and he would let the friendship he had come to cherish go as well. For her sake. He didn’t want to play games anymore. He didn’t want to lead her on or mess her around. Those reasons he had thought of still stood. He was going to let her get on that plane tomorrow and not look back. It was helped by the fact he could avoid her now as the only filming left on the shoot was of him and most he had enough clout that he could arrange any press that happened to be separate. He’d be civil and polite in the future but he’d treat her as an acquaintance – he’d let her get on with the life he knew would be fabulous. And he’d push his feelings down and move on. 

Though it wasn’t an easy decision he felt more settled once he had made it. He was able to get a couple hours of sleep, though it was broken, and felt slightly rested when he crawled out of bed at 6 am. Putting his decision behind him he attempted to distract himself, firstly with a run. The cold December air was sharp against his face as he jogged through the nearly deserted New York streets – the sensation was enough to keep his mind preoccupied as was the thumping music that blasted into his ears as he moved quickly. He ate at a diner a few blocks from his house before heading home. Every hour of that day he found something to keep him busy. He did laundry and tidied the whole apartment. By early evening he was exhausted but his strategy hadn’t worked. He couldn’t help but think of her all day. 

Around 4 pm there was a knock on the door and Chris rose from his position on the couch, where he had fallen into a slumber, and went to open it. It swung open to reveal his best friends, Anthony and Seb, stood there with identical smiles on their faces.   
‘Hey guys,’ Chris said.  
‘Hey,’ Seb said though Anthony merely grunted, ‘can we come in?’  
‘Sure,’ Chris said, allowing them to walk past and into the living room. Chris followed them and the men settled on the couch once more where he flicked the TV on for some background noise.  
‘How come you guys are here?’ Chris asked trying to sound nice.  
‘Came to say goodbye to Y/N and Tom,’ explained Seb. Chris muttered an incoherent approval and looked at the TV, ‘thought we’d come and hang out for a bit with you.’  
‘Oh great,’ Chris said the disappointment in his voice evident. Anthony’s face fell into a scowl as he said, ‘And came to see if you remember who we are.’  
‘Mack,’ Seb sighed.  
‘No Seb,’ Anthony sighed, looking angrily at Chris.  
‘What’s going on?’ Chris said though he swore he had an inkling.  
‘Like you don’t know,’ Anthony said.  
‘Enlighten me,’ Chris said irritated as he was in no mood for an argument.  
‘You’ve been absent for weeks and now we show up to spend some time with our best friend and you can’t even be bothered to pretend like you want us here.’  
‘It’s not like that,’ Chris said. He didn’t know they’d become so offended at his absence. They’d called him out on it sure but it had always been in a joking way and now it seemed very serious. Awkwardness descended on the boys as they sat there. Anthony merely sat there and scowled not wanting to hear Chris’ excuses. 

‘Bud,’ Sebastian said, ‘we want to believe you but you’re not exactly convincing. We thought all your family stuff was over. Now you’ve got a face like your sucking on a lemon as soon as we walked through the door. What did we do?’   
‘Nothing.’  
‘Well, it must have been something. I mean you barely spent any time last night at the party and it was our last gathering before Christmas.’  
‘It wasn’t you. Look I’m just not in the mood for visitors right now is all,’ Chris sighed, running a hand over his weary face.  
‘Are you ever,’ Anthony scoffed, ‘look let’s just go. If he wants to be a kid and not tell us what’s going on fine.’  
‘Mack,’ Chris sighed, ‘honestly. You don’t want to get involved.’  
‘Maybe we should decide for ourselves,’ Seb said, pulling Anthony back onto the couch from the spot he had risen to.  
‘You’ll just call me an idiot.’  
‘You are an idiot,’ Anthony said with a smile as his anger wavered slightly, ‘but why don’t you tell us what’s going on and we can help you. To be honest, we’re missing our best friend.’

And so, Chris broke. He told them everything – every single detail, including the decision he had come to, following Tom’s lecture at last nights’ party. And the pair sat there, in relative silence, allowing him to come clean about the shenanigans he had been up to over the past 3 months.  
‘And that’s why I decided to let her go. I mean we’re not suited for each other it’s better to just let her go, right?’  
‘No offence,’ Anthony said leaning up from his position with an incensed look on his face, ‘but that’s a load of crap.’  
‘What?’ Chris said perplexed.  
‘He’s right man.’  
‘You think that you two can’t be together because of an age gap?’  
’15 years of an age gap.’  
‘So? You connect in all the right ways does it matter that she’s a little bit younger than you.’  
‘She’s a kid!’ Chris reasoned looking for his friend’s support.  
‘Bud, you’ve seen her. Gotten to know her over the past few months and I have got to say that she is one of the only 21-year-olds I’ve met that’s got their heads screwed on pretty tight. I mean sure she’s allowed to have fun and there must be something wrong with her if she likes you but-‘  
‘Funny,’ Chris deadpanned. His ears rang with Anthony’s words. He supposed he was right and that she wasn’t exactly like any other 20 something he’d met. Compared to him in his 20s she was grown up. And if he had to be honest over the past few months it was him rather than her who had been acting like a child.   
‘She’s at the start of her career. I don’t want her to be tainted with being Captain America’s girlfriend for the rest of her days.’  
‘So then don’t broadcast it to the world like that,’ Anthony said, ‘look she’s talented enough that she’s going to make her own name in this world. She’s not using you for fame and if she’s not bothered being associated with you I don’t see why you are.’  
‘But how could we be together? She lives overseas and-‘  
‘Look,’ Anthony said exasperatedly, ‘do you love this girl?’  
‘Yeah.’  
‘Does she love you?’  
‘I don’t know, Tom said she does but what if she’s confused I mean she’s young. I thought I loved plenty of girls in my 20s.’  
‘Have you asked her?’ Seb interjected.  
‘Well no.’  
‘Then how do you know,’ Anthony said with a coy smile, ‘look I’ve seen the way she is around you. Even when you were just friend she practically lit up around you. I thought it was just puppy love or a crush from both of you but the way you speak about it her it’s definitely love-love. And considering how crazy the two of you have been over each other I’d say she loves you too. Now the only thing standing in your way is yourself.’  
‘What if it doesn’t work?’  
‘Then it doesn’t work,’ Anthony said matter-of-factly, ‘look you can either sit here and be miserable that the girl you love is flying home and moving on with her life. Or you can tell her that she has a shot with you and make yourself happy.’

Chris mulled over his words. Any rationale he’d produced about them not being together had been quashed by Anthony’s truthfully harsh words. He could feel the pairs of eyes boring into him, willing him to see what they saw. He looked up with a smile and said, ‘so you really think I should tell her, huh?’  
‘Well obviously,’ Seb said frustrated.  
‘Right,’ said Chris, ‘I’m going to.’ 

And with that, he stood with his best friends following suit. His face was beaming as he moved to leave the room but it disappeared quickly as Anthony said, ‘wait. You can’t, she’ll have already gone to the airport by now.’  
‘You think?’ Chris asked dishearten.  
‘Mackie’s right man,’ Sebastian concurred, ‘they were leaving right after we said goodbye.’  
‘Just ring her,’ Anthony said though Chris didn’t like that idea at all. He didn’t want the first time he declared his love to be when she was flying thousands of miles away from him. Nevertheless, he produced his phone from his pocket and dialled. It rung out for a while before going straight to voicemail. Disheartened he hung up and rung Tom instead hoping one of them would pick up.  
‘What time was their flight?’ he asked as he paced around the living room urging Tom to pick up.  
‘Err 5? 5:15,’ Anthony guessed.  
‘5:15,’ Sebastian said assured, ‘I remember one of them saying that.’

Chris glanced at his phone 4:15. He had a full hour. That was enough time to get to the airport and through to their gate. He briefed his friends on his plan and moved to leave, watching as his friends ushered him out and wished him luck. Fortunately, traffic was light and he made it to the airport in record time. It was busy, many people were heading home, as Tom and Y/N were, to be with their families around the festive period. Chris’ eyes scanned the departure board frantically, before he realised that he didn’t know anything. No flight number, no departure details. He’d gone there on a complete whim and now he was struggling to find her. For all he knew she might not even be in the same terminal. He clung to the time of 5:15 in his mind and found a flight that could be the one. JFK to Heathrow, connecting through Dublin. Departure time 5:15. 30 minutes and boarding had just started. He could make it. He had no bag to check, he just needed a ticket and to go through security. He dashed through desperately to the check in desk. Luckily, the check in desk was manned by a quite enthusiastic lady who was a fan and therefore was more than happy to give him the first-class treatment. He was first in line for everything and hand escorted to the gate. What he couldn’t do however was reopen boarding call. By the time he got to the gate it was closed and all Chris could do was watch as the plane pulled away and out onto the runway. He tried her phone again but it went straight to voicemail and Chris threw it back in his pocket angrily. 

Why had he been so stupid? He had had his chance 3 months ago and had lost his bottle. They could have been living happily for the past three months and now she was headed back to the UK with him miles away. He supposed he could ring her once she landed but it wasn’t the same. He wanted a big romantic gesture. He wanted the cliché. To admit his love for her in front of everyone at Christmas. By the time he got back to his apartment building he was sulking. He climbed into the elevator and waited morosely as it glided up to his floor. The doors parted and he stepped out into the long corridor which he sauntered down before turning right onto his passage. Chris stopped dead in his tracks. Sat up against his front door with her suitcase at her feet was Y/N. 

She was sat with her head resting on the polished wood, her eyes closed as she listened to the music that was blaring out of the earbud she had in her left ear. Chris moved quickly and watched as her eyes flicked open, sensing someone’s presence. She smiled nervously as she saw him and got to her feet. He reached her in no time though he found himself too perplexed to speak, eventually, he managed to splutter, ‘W-what are you doing here?’  
Y/N shuffled awkwardly on the spot and her Y/E/C eyes dropped to the ground as she muttered, ‘I came to see you.’  
‘But you’re supposed to be on a plane to the other side of the world, I mean not that I’m not happy to see you but-‘  
‘Are you?’ she asked looking up at him wide-eyed.  
‘Am I?’  
‘Happy to see me?’  
‘Of course, I am,’ Chris said with a grin, ‘actually I wanted to speak to you.’  
‘Yeah?’  
‘Yeah,’ Chris said but before he said anything further he moved towards her, his hands moving to her neck. Leaning down he embraced her lips tenderly. They were soft and warm against his and Chris felt a warmth spread through him as they tugged up in a smile. His hands held her face gingerly as he felt her hands hold his waist edging him forward and encouraging to kiss her deeper. All too soon they were forced to come up for air and Chris looked down at Y/N with adoring eyes. 

‘That’s pretty much all I wanted to say,’ he chuckled causing her to laugh.  
‘You pretty much nailed it,’ she smiled pulling further back.  
‘I do want to talk to you though. About everything,’ he said and before she could respond he was rambling. Going at full speed to explain himself and his behaviour. He told her how he still had doubts and that he understood they were different. He explained that though he wasn’t thrilled about Colin he knew everything and that he accepted the way things were, for she was a grown woman who could make her own choices. He told her about Tom making him make a decision and how Anthony and Seb had shown him that he could be as logical as he liked but it still didn’t matter if he felt the way he did and then finally he said, ‘and I just wanted to tell you. That no matter what’s happened. The way I acted, what I did, how conflicted I feel. I know that I love you. I fell in love with you the day we watched football together. Hook line and sinker. And I’m not saying that forgives anything I did. And I’m not saying you have to love me back if you don’t I understand. But I just think you should know.’  
She watched him, her eyes noting every expression that flickered across his face hoping to detect whether or not he was being truthful. Because even after everything. After the fighting, the turmoil and the angst she loved him. She had fallen as fast as he had and had kept on even through everything. 

‘I love you too.’  
‘Really?’ he asked nervously.  
‘Definitely. I’ve missed you so much recently. And I’m not naïve enough to think that it will be simple. That our age won’t be a problem or that I won’t get frustrated with the reaction of fans. But that’s the same in any relationship. There are always reasons not to be together.’  
‘I know. And I’m sorry I was such an idiot for not seeing that.’  
‘Yeah you were,’ she teased before leaning up for a kiss once more. It was quicker than the last but Y/N’s heart was filled to the brim with joy. It wasn’t picture perfect. It wasn’t cliché or an extravagant declaration of love in the middle of Rockefeller centre or something. It was messy and complicated and confusing but if she were honest with herself she wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

‘Just so you know,’ she murmured against his lips, ‘you’re gonna have a really angry voicemail from Tom for me missing the flight.’


	12. Epilogue

SPRING  
Her face was sullen as she moved into the room. In Y/N’s hand was her phone and her eyes were glued to the screen scanning frantically through the page she was reading.   
‘What is it, sweetie?’ Chris asked from his place on the couch. She looked up from her phone, roused by his words and said with a frown, ‘they know.’ Chris looked up to where she held her phone out in her extended hand and took in the article that had outed them as a couple. 

‘CHRIS EVANS SHOWS OFF NEW MARVEL BEAU IN CITY DATE’   
Chris Evans, 36, has sparked controversy once more. The Marvel hunk has had the rumour mill swimming for months regarding his love life but confirmation seems to have been given today as the actor was spotted stepping out in London hand-in-hand with his co-star, and on-screen love interest, Y/N Y/L/N. The 21-year-old actress joined the franchise back in 2016 with a small role in Spiderman-Homecoming alongside her long-time friend Tom Holland and met Evans in 2017 whilst filming the fourth instalment of the Captain America franchise. Sources close to the starlet report that the couple has been together since last December, representatives for the pair have been unavailable for comment. 

Chris sighed. It wasn’t that they were trying to hide their relationship from the world it was just that things were so much simpler behind closed doors. The struggle it had taken to get them together it felt unfair that they should share in their happy moments when they were unaware of everything previous.  
‘Oh well,’ Chris said clicking the phone closed and offering an arm out so she could slide down onto the couch next to him, ‘At least they know how much I love you now.’

SUMMER

Chris was preparing for the birthday party that was due to be thrown in his honour tonight when his phone rang. He produced it from his pocket and it flashed before him showing him a faded picture of him and his mom. Swiping it open he answered it and placing it to his ear he said, ‘Hey mom.’  
A melodic chorus of happy Birthday rang in his ear followed by a laugh, which he shared with her.  
‘Hey honey, Happy Birthday,’ she said, Chris could hear the smile in her voice.  
‘Thanks, mom,’ he replied as he checked his reflection in the mirror. He was due to leave soon.  
‘Your dad says happy birthday too! 37! I can’t believe it, it doesn’t seem like yesterday I was having you,’ she said unevenly.  
‘I know me either. I feel so old,’ Chris chuckled.   
‘You feel old!? What about us! To think when I was your age I had 4 kids and a mortgage,’ she said jokingly though Chris could feel a subtle hint being dropped, as it had since he had turned 30. It had only worsened in the years since his nieces and nephews had been born.  
‘Mom,’ he warned.  
‘I’m just saying! Scott has been telling me all about what you said about Y/N, could there be the pitter patter of little feet sometime soon,’ she asked. Chris didn’t respond straight away. If he had to be honest, Chris would say that 36 had been a pretty good year. He’d added another killer instalment to his franchise, adopted a puppy and met the love of his life. Admittedly it hadn’t been an easy year but couldn’t be happier and he was intrigued to see what 37 had in store.  
‘Let me ask her to move in first ma,’ he chuckled, ‘anyway I’ve got to go.’  
‘Okay sweetheart, I love you,’ she said.  
‘Love you too,’ Chris replied before clicking off the phone. Y/N rounded the corner looking as stunning as ever and Chris took her in with a smile.  
‘You alright?’ she asked.  
‘Yeah, just spoke to my mom. She rang to say happy birthday.’  
‘How is she?’  
‘Good, good. Think she was hoping 37 will be the year she gets another grandchild,’ Chris joked though Y/N stayed silent. He looked up at her uneasily and in a panicked voice said, ‘I mean she didn’t mean anything by it. She was just joking.’  
‘I know.’  
‘Good. Because we’ve never really talked about that I’ve not even asked you to move in yet.’  
‘Were you going to?’  
‘Yeah,’ Chris said bashfully, he had wanted to though he didn’t want to scare her off.  
‘Well then, that’s settled,’ she said with a smile moving towards him and wrapping her arms tight around him. Chris hugged her back, his heart swelling at the thought of her reacting so well. Y/N’s head pressed against his chest and he felt the vibration of her lips as she said, ‘as for the whole marriage and kids thing, give it another 6 months eh?’

AUTUMN

‘Damn,’ Anthony sighed angrily, ‘you would think on a press tour about a movie we would be asked at least one question about the actual film.’  
‘More of the same huh?’ Y/N asked as he flopped stood by the refreshment table next to where she and her boyfriend were waiting to be called.   
‘Mmhmm,’ Anthony scoffed, picking up a bottle of water from the table and then resting against it, ‘they were barely interested in anything I had to say about the film. Were just happy to hear about you too. I know more about your relationship than I do my own.’  
‘Sorry man,’ Chris sighed. It had been like this most of the press tour. His and Y/N’s relationship had become the hot topic amongst all the reporters and his, Y/N’s and the rest of casts patience was wearing thin.  
‘It’s no bother. I’m up again, I’ll see you guys later,’ he said before downing his water and exiting the room.   
‘They found out about us 6 months ago,’ Y/N sighed, ‘you’d think that they’d move on.’  
‘Hey, they just can’t believe you managed to land a hottie like me,’ Chris joked fanning himself with his hand as she looked up at him with a smile from where she was cuddled into his side.   
‘Excuse me if I remember rightly you were begging me to be with you, old man.’  
‘Old man? Is that how you want to play this,’ Chris asked pretending to be outraged. Y/N nodded smugly but immediately regretted her decision as Chris launched a full-blown attack on her and tickled her mercilessly. Y/N couldn’t move and her sides hurt from laughing but her attention was caught suddenly by a cough that came from the door. Sitting up in her seat and pushing Chris off of her Y/N watched as a skinny boy, who couldn’t be no less than 2 years younger than her, dropped his eyes to the ground and said, ‘Mr Evans, Miss Y/L/N they’re ready for you on stage 3H.’  
‘Thanks,’ Chris said straitening his attire as he stood up holding his hand out for Y/N to clasp so she could stand. Y/N tried to flatten her dress though it remained hiked up around her thighs and her hair was a mess. Her lipstick was smudged slightly and on the neck of Chris’ crisp white t-shirt, ‘c’mon. Let’s go give them something to talk about.’

WINTER

Christmas in New York was unlike anywhere else. The feeling of festiveness ran through the city and as it was Y/N’s favourite time of year it made her truly ecstatic. Y/N loved Christmas. It was her favourite time of year. Though granted winter in L.A. was vastly different than it was back home in London but she took it either way. This year was particularly special. Not only was it one of the most festive days of the year but it was the celebration of her first year with Chris. 

They’d made it a whole year and she had to admit it had been the best year of her life. Not only that but Chris had outdone himself. The day had been amazing. Chris had taken her all over the city and they’d done everything – skating at Rockefeller centre, carriage rides. To top it off they had managed to do it without being spotted by paparazzi. Now they were tucked away in a corner of their favourite restaurant.   
‘I can’t believe it’s been a year,’ Y/N whispered as she clunked her glass against his in merriment as the wait staff finally left them alone.   
‘I know, the best year of my life,’ Chris said with a smile. Y/N dropped her eyes but Chris grasped her hand and said, ‘no seriously. I’m not just saying that it’s been the best year of my life. I was sort of trundling along last year and yeah, I had relationships but there was no spark. Then I met you and you made everything better. Granted it wasn’t easy.’  
‘Understatement,’ Y/N muttered with a giggle.  
‘But we got through. And we made it a year and so with that in mind there’s just one thing I want to say. Now I was going to wait until after dinner but I can’t wait,’ he said as he moved from his seat.  
‘What are you doing?’ Y/N asked frantically.  
‘You said to ask you again in six months, right?’ Chris said with a cheeky smile as he moved next to the table and sank to one knee as he fiddled with his jacket pocket that was resting on the back of his chair. As he produced a black box he turned to Y/N and said, ‘Y/N, will you marry me?’ 

She paused, literally unable to speak. Her hand flew to her mouth as she looked at Chris’ expectant face all smiley and wide-eyed. When her voice returned she looked down at him with a smile and said, ‘of course I will.’


End file.
